Chapter 7 – Kid Discussion – The First Night is the Scariest.

Well we have finally made it inside Hogwarts and are ready to see what house Harry is sorted into. If you are like our family, we knew that Harry would not be sorted into Slytherin the whole time. We also were positive that Malfoy would be put into Slytherin house. My family also had a hard time figuring out which dessert we would most like to try at the feast. My vote was on the treacle tarts.

It was my daughter who related best with this chapter even though all four kids agreed with her thought. She noticed that Harry had a bunch of fun at the feast and he was interested in meeting Nearly Headless Nick. He was loving the food and meeting new friends. Harry didn’t even seem to mind being put to bed. However, the night and the nightmare were not good at all.

My daughter remembers the first few nights when she came to my home as a foster child. She remembers also that during the day she was very excited about all the new things in her life. She ran around the new house looking at new rooms and playing with the new pets. She looked through all the new toys in the toy room. She was even happy about being read new bedtime stories by her new foster mom in her new bed and sheets.

fink-story-foster-care-bed-happy  fink-sleep-bedtime-foster-care-baby-harry-potter

The scary part came at night. All of a sudden she thought about all the bad things in her life.

  • taken away from her biological mom
  • lost all of her friends
  • in a dark and unfamiliar house that made noises she wasn’t used to

It was a difficult night for her. It was a night that she spent with the blanket wrapped around her whole body.

Our older sons agreed that the first  night was the most difficult in a new home.

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How do you make the first night better?

  • You will be scared – my kids didn’t seem to think there was any way to make all the fears go away so foster/adoptive kids should know that it’s normal to be scared/nervous the first nights
  • Grab your teddy-bear — or stuffed animal or blanket that you like the most. It’s nice to have something that you care about in bed with you.
  • Ask questions – before you go to bed my daughter said that kids should ask their foster/adoptive parents if they can sleep on the floor of the parents’ bedroom when they get scared; if you cannot sleep in their room, ask if you can sleep on the floor outside their bedroom (Mrs. Fink actually did this when she was a child. The hallway outside a parent’s bedroom is just as effective for keeping monsters away as inside the bedroom.)
  • Talk it out – If you think that you’re going to be scared at night, tell your foster/adoptive parents. They want to help you but they don’t know how unless you tell them you are scared.

Now It’s Your Turn:

  1. What house would you be sorted into? Brave Gryffindor? Clever Ravenclaw? Loyal Huffelpuff? Cunning Slytherin?
  2. What dessert would you like best at the feast? Have you ever had it?
  3. Do you think Ron or Hermoine were scared of sleeping at Hogwarts the first night? Why or why not?
  4. Does your foster/adoptive mom or dad remember being nervous at bedtime?
  5. Do you remember the first night at your foster/adoptive home? What was it like?
  6. Why do you think bedtime is so scary for some kids? for you?

Help Others:

Comment below on what helps you not to be so scared at night time. What would help other adoptive/foster kids? As always we also we love to hear your thoughts and ideas from this chapter in the comments below.


Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Written by
Co-founder and President of Transfiguring Adoption. Darren is a graduate of Illinois State University where he studied fine art. He offers foster and adoptive parents over a decade of experience in parenting foster and adoptive children, as well as his introductory to counseling training. Darren is the author of the "A Guide to Magical Creatures Around Your Home," book series. [email protected] LinkedIn: Book series:

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