Are My Parents Hiding Something? – Chapter 3 – Kid Discussion




fink-darren-foster-care-sad-problem  fink-foster-care-knoxville-happy-adoption

Can you believe what has happened to Harry Potter thus far? Can you believe that Aunt Petunia was going to make him wear those gross, nasty clothes?

All of these bad things keep happening to Harry and I don’t know about you, but my family feels sorry for him. Then when you hope that the letter addressed to him will create some sort of good news; the letter is literally taken away from him along with any hope of good news. I was really curious about what was in the letter just as much as Harry. When Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia tried to keep the letters from Harry, it made me wonder even more what was in the letter. It’s just like when an adult tells you Not to do something. Doesn’t that make you want to try out the forbidden action even more than before? Harry was no different. He just had to find out what was in the letters, BUT he also had to obey his aunt and uncle. Harry just knew that the letter held some secret about his family – about who he was.

When we talked about this chapter, my kids didn’t ever feel like we were keeping owls from delivering magical letters to them. However, we did all think it would be neat to open up eggs and find mail inside them. After a bit of conversation though, the kids did feel like adults knew more about their biological family than what was shared with them while they were in foster care.

Some of this…. is true and some of it was in their heads. For the most part, the adults in their lives told them the absolute truth about their biological families when the kids asked questions. However, there were times that they didn’t get the information they were searching for due to a couple of reasons.

  1. Some of the reasons that our kids got put into foster care were important but really confusing for kids. I have told them more details as they have gotten older.
  2. Sometimes foster/adoptive parents don’t have all the information. While my kids were in foster care, Margie and I weren’t allowed to know all of the personal information about the kids’ biological families. After the kids were adopted, their caseworkers gave us some information, but there is so much we still don’t know.

I heard one of my children talking to a friend one day saying,

“My mom and dad would never lie to me, unless they weren’t telling me about a birthday present. And that’s so the present will be a surprise for me.”

Our family tries to be honest with each other. We definitely disagree with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia’s decision to keep the letters from Harry – even if the letters had bad stuff about Harry’s family. We think it’s important to talk about old stories. It’s important to remember the good times and let safe people help you with the old hurtful stories. Just don’t forget when remembering the past that it’s important to live, love, and laugh with the family you have with you now.

It’s Your Turn Now:

    1. Do you think Harry knows what the letter is about? Why or why not?
    2. Does it bother Harry that he doesn’t know about his parents? Why or why not?
    3. Why didn’t the Dursleys want Harry to read the letter? Do you think they were at all scared for Harry or themselves? What do you think of their decision?
    4. What do you remember about your biological family?
    5. What is one question you wish you could ask your biological family?
    6. What does your foster/adoptive parent(s) do to let you know they care for you?
    7. It’s not good to think about the past ALL the time. How do you have fun with your foster/adoptive family now?


Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Written by
Co-founder and President of Transfiguring Adoption. Darren is a graduate of Illinois State University where he studied fine art. He offers foster and adoptive parents over a decade of experience in parenting foster and adoptive children, as well as his introductory to counseling training. Darren is the author of the "A Guide to Magical Creatures Around Your Home," book series. [email protected] LinkedIn: Book series:

What do you think?

0 0

Lost Password

Please enter your username or email address. You will receive a link to create a new password via email.