First off, I am no adoption expert.
I don’t recommend what I did for everyone.
Ultimately I think I did this so that my birth father wouldn’t have the opportunity to reject me (again).
From what I understood, he wanted no contact with me.
Perhaps I was a bit angry with the idea that a person could father a child and then choose to simply ignore that fact for the rest of their life.
Where was my say as the adopted child?
Even though I’ve been quite content with the life I’ve lived and my wonderful family, I still had these thoughts and feelings. I felt like this was creating a rift between me and those I loved.
I was lucky enough to have very understanding parents who agreed to let me do this.
I think children of closed adoption often suffer in silence about these things. Our adoption is never totally “closed” in our hearts.
After meeting John, (my birthfather), I feel more apart of my family (my adoptive family) than ever.
I see the big picture, and it’s had a lasting effect on me.
I feel like this is both an end and a new beginning for me. It marks the end of a lot of suffering, self doubt, depression, and anger. Now that my adoption is open, I can finally say that it’s “closed” once and for all in my heart.
Life also feels new and different now that I no longer feel like some mistake that was made 24 years ago.
Elijah Thomas is a 24 year old actor, musician, and film-maker. He is currently an open major college student. His claim to fame is his performance as Lord Voldemort in the YouTube viral video “Dark Lord Funk.” He believes that as long as communication, love, and trust, are implemented in an adoption from ALL PARTIES, the adoption can be successful.