Showing Up At My Birth Dad’s Home Unannounced – Guest Blog by Elijah Thomas


Guest Blog by Elijah Thomas

First off, I am no adoption expert.

I don’t recommend what I did for everyone.

Ultimately I think I did this so that my birth father wouldn’t have the opportunity to reject me (again).

From what I understood, he wanted no contact with me.

Perhaps I was a bit angry with the idea that a person could father a child and then choose to simply ignore that fact for the rest of their life.

Where was my say as the adopted child?

Even though I’ve been quite content with the life I’ve lived and my wonderful family, I still had these thoughts and feelings. I felt like this was creating a rift between me and those I loved.

I was lucky enough to have very understanding parents who agreed to let me do this.

I think children of closed adoption often suffer in silence about these things. Our adoption is never totally “closed” in our hearts.

After meeting John, (my birthfather), I feel more apart of my family (my adoptive family) than ever.

I see the big picture, and it’s had a lasting effect on me.

I feel like this is both an end and a new beginning for me. It marks the end of a lot of suffering, self doubt, depression, and anger. Now that my adoption is open, I can finally say that it’s “closed” once and for all in my heart.

Life also feels new and different now that I no longer feel like some mistake that was made 24 years ago.

elijahthomas-transfiguring-adoptionElijah Thomas is a 24 year old actor, musician,
and film-maker. He is currently an open
major college student. His claim to fame is
his performance as Lord Voldemort in the
YouTube viral video “Dark Lord Funk.” 
He believes that as long as communication, love,
and trust, are implemented in an adoption from
ALL PARTIES, the adoption can be successful.



Written by
Co-founder and President of Transfiguring Adoption. Darren is a graduate of Illinois State University where he studied fine art. He offers foster and adoptive parents over a decade of experience in parenting foster and adoptive children, as well as his introductory to counseling training. Darren is the author of the "A Guide to Magical Creatures Around Your Home," book series. LinkedIn: Book series:

What do you think?

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  1. There were other things that I wanted to see reflected in this video like the reaction of the biological father. What would it be for him now that he met the son. And for son, does the search truly end when he saw the father? My feelings though is for the adoptive parents seeing how their son couldnt get enough of what life has become. Im sure it wasnt also easy for them

    • Elijah Thomas has recently released the FULL video of his experience on Vimeo. We have recently reviewed it on the website. The full video allows viewers to explore more the feelings of the adoptive parents and even the birth mother. Viewers will also get a more time to witness the meeting and conversations between Elijah and his birth father.

  2. I want to thank your bio mom for giving you your bio dad’s name…
    My partner and I adopted our baby at birth (she is now 17)! It was a family adoption (my partners niece). Our daughter would like to meet her bio dad but the birth mom will not give up his name! All we know is that he lives in Chicago! She’s told us 10 different stories about him from a gang member to being dead! We know most of the stories are lies! We did a DNA test and it wasn’t what we expected and if I had the $$ we could go further on our search!
    Thanks for sharing your story..

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