3 Reactions to Bad Behavior of an Adopted Grandchild


Two of our adopted (through foster care) grandchildren came for a several day visit. We were so excited to have them visit and with just two [out of four] of them here we would be able to spend much more individual time with them.

As there had been some “electronics issues” in the past we did carefully put away the laptop, iPad, and Nook where they couldn’t be accessed. Everything seemed to be going well until an incident one night near the end of their visit.

I awoke in the wee hours of the morning to find that my iPhone which had been charging on the nightstand right beside me was no longer there. After finding the phone I discovered there had been inappropriate internet sites accessed on it. What were my reactions?


  1. Shock and Disappointment
    I couldn’t believe this had happened! I had been so careful (my phone was probably less than 12 inches from me) and my grandchild had supposedly been asleep in another room down the hallway. I couldn’t believe this grandchild that I loved and trusted so much would do this! I was so disappointed to realize that I can love this grandchild but cannot completely trust him/her.

    “I couldn’t believe this had happened!”

  2. Anger
    Yes, I was angry but not really with my grandchild. I was angry at myself for not knowing an iPhone can be passcode protected. (Of course, the phone is protected now). And, I was angry with the biological mom and the environment of my grandchild’s biological home which had led to this incident. The child had been taken out of the home at a very young age but is still suffering the consequences. None of this is really my grandchild’s fault but it is my grandchild who is suffering the consequences! It’s not fair that innocence is robbed from any child at such a young age.

    “It’s not fair that innocence is robbed from any child at such a young age.”

  3. I Want to Fix my Granchild and the Bad Behavior
    Grandpa and I talked to this dear grandchild about how dangerous lying, stealing, etc. is, especially in the future when legal age of adulthood is reached. We explained how much it frightened us to know what would happen if this path is continued to be followed. Then we prayed with our grandchild. Yes, we even prayed for the biological mom and her environment. And then we had lots of hugs and kisses and assured this dear grandchild of Grandma and Grandpa’s “forever love.”

    “And then we had lots of hugs and kisses and assured this dear grandchild of Grandma and Grandpa’s “forever love.”

 Let’s Hear from You:

  1. Have you ever had issues while watching the grandchildren?
  2. What tips would you suggest to grandparents for watching foster-adoptive children?
  3. How do you see the child through the behavior?
  4. How do you make sure your grandchild know you love them unconditionally?

Next: What I learned from disciplining my foster-adoptive grandchildren.



Written by
Maxine is the mother of two grown children and grandma to seven grandchildren. Four of her grandchildren have been adopted out of the foster care system. Maxine currently lives in Quincy, Illinois with her husband Don.

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