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3 Fun Activities to Discover More About Your Foster-Adoptive Family – Chapter 10 – Kids’ Discussion

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If you have been following the discussion on our blog, you know that Harry Potter has come to another quidditch match. This game is against Slytherin so Harry and everyone in his school especially wants to see the Slytherins lose the game. However, it is going to be difficult to win as someone has bewitched a bludger (a magical ball that flies on it’s own and try to knock players off their broomsticks) to attack Harry.

What would you do if a bludger was trying to kill you? Would you keep playing? Would you stop the game?

During a timeout Harry’s team talks about the problem with the bludger. They want Harry to stop the game or ask the referee to take a look at the bad ball. Harry’s whole team believes that the Slytherins put a spell on the ball and everyone wants to protect Harry.

Harry keeps playing. He knows that he’s a great quidditch player. He knows he is talented. He knows that he has what it takes to help his team win.

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When people tell you that you’re talented at something and you know that you’re talented a few things start to happen.

  1. You feel good about yourself.
  2. You know that you’re important.
  3. You’re braver and more courageous because you have confidence.

Hopefully, as you get to know your foster-adoptive family, your parents can tell you what you’re talented at and you can notice the talents of other people in the family.

What Is Your Family Good At?

People inside a family want to help each other succeed. They stick together. No matter if you’re in a foster family, adoptive family or birth family, everyone inside your family is going to be different and not everyone is going to be good at the same things. Let’s play some games and find out a little bit about your family.

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The M&M Activity

For this activity you’ll need a bag of M&M’s.

  • No one is allowed to eat the candy
  • Put a handful of candy in front of each person
  • No one is allowed to eat the candy 🙂
  • Set a timer for two minutes
  • During the two minutes no one can talk to each other BUT everyone can interact with the candy
  • No one is allowed to eat the candy 😀

What happened during the two minutes? Usually, two things happen.

  1. Some people will make pictures or designs or create stories with their M&Ms.
  2. Some people will put the candy in groupings by color or make other groups.

The first type of people in your family are the ones that like to be creative. They might be the ones that are good at art or writing stories. The second type of people are those that might be good at logic. These people in your family might be the people that will enjoy math, science and history.

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Tell Us About Yourself Activity

  • Have a volunteer leave the room or out of earshot for one minute
  • While the volunteer is gone, choose another volunteer
  • Give the 2nd volunteer one minute to stand in the middle of your family and talk about themselves
  • After the minute is up, the first volunteer comes back and talk about themselves for one minute

How did everyone do? If members of your family had trouble talking and filling up the minute, then you know those are the introverts in your family. In other words they are the people that are most energized by being alone or in small groups. These are the family members in OUR house that beg to go home and play the Wii instead of going to the zoo.

On the other hand family members that seemed to like being in front of everyone and talked over their minute are your extroverts. They are more energized when they are out in public or a lot of sensory input. In our house I, Darren, would rather read a book at a busy coffee shop while one of my kiddos would like to read a book in their bedroom.

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Listen to the Story Activity

  • Listen to this story
  • Everyone chooses one of the two options at the end

A humane shelter worker is giving your family a dog. Before they bring the dog to the house though, the worker wants you to know some things about the dog. The dog’s name is Buddy. Buddy is a beagle. He is a very playful puppy. Unfortunately his old owner didn’t like to play with Buddy. In fact the owner would yell at Buddy when he wanted to play until Buddy got so scared that he would accidentally pee on the carpet. The owner would then take all the dog’s food and water away for two whole days. This happened at least one time every week. The owner brought Buddy to the humane shelter because he was a bad dog. The humane shelter worker wants to be sure that your family would play with Buddy and give him plenty of food. Your family agrees to let Buddy come into your home. However, when one of the kids fills Buddy’s bowl with food, Buddy was afraid the child was taking the food away. Buddy got angry and bites the kid’s leg. Unfortunately, a vet and the humane shelter worker both agree that Buddy will always try to bite someone in this situation. The vet tells your family that their is no chance of changing Buddy’s behavior.

What should your family do? Keep Buddy or send him back to the shelter? Why?

People that chose to keep Buddy because of his past will be the members of your family that make decisions by listening to their feelings. These are the members in my family that have dessert without finishing my dinner when I had a hard day at work or school.

Members of your family that chose to get Buddy out of the house more than likely make decisions by looking at the facts. I like to play board games with these family members because they play by the rules. They also come up with a fair way to see who should go first in a game.

What did you find out about your family?

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*The staff of Transfiguring Adoption are not professional counselors. The activities used in this blogged are meant to be fun ways for families to start conversations and should in no way be used for professional therapy.*

Kids’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12

Parent Discussions: 

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04

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Chapter 12 – It’s a Holiday and I Want My Mommy – Kids Discussion

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Did you enjoy this chapter? Most everyone likes Christmas. Harry seems to have rather enjoyed this holiday at Hogwarts. However, this chapter isn’t only about Christmas. It’s also about Harry’s discovery of the Mirror of Erised and his feelings for the family that he has never seen.

Before we get into my adopted kids’ thoughts about this chapter, I want you to talk/think about a few questions.

  1. Why did Harry enjoy Christmas so much? How do you know he was having fun?
  2. How do you know Harry was having fun?
  3. How was Harry feeling when he found the mirror and saw his family?
  4. If Harry was having so much fun at Christmas, why did he seem so gloomy toward the end of the chapter?

Birthday-hogwarts-adoption-knoxville-tennesseeMy kids could relate with the sweaters that the Weasleys and Harry received as gifts. We don’t give everyone sweaters at Christmas BUT for them the sweaters were a Christmas tradition. We try to have certain traditions around most holidays.

  • New Year’s Eve – We have a small party with close friends to play board games and eat certain snack foods
  • Easter – We always watch a VeggieTales Easter cartoon. My wife creates small chocolates that are placed in a small chocolate basket. We color eggs and have an egg hunt.
  • 4th of July – We have a picnic before seeing fireworks.
  • Thanksgiving – We always make pumpkin juice.
  • Christmas – We always make gingerbread men. We also always have a special time where we set up a nativity and read the Christmas story. We watch a Charlie Brown Christmas Special.
  • Birthdays – We wake the person up with a song we made up and dog pile him/her. We decorate the birthday person’s FACE with icing before having birthday cake.

You might do some of these things in your family too, Why are they special then? These traditions are ways that our family connects and makes memories together. We think that even though not all the Weasleys seemed to enjoy their new sweaters, that they would be upset if they didn’t get one. It’s a tradition, and it helps to make Christmas feel special.

hogsmeade-snowman-harry-potter-adoption-foster-careEven though we have our tradition and spend time with each other connecting, there is still a sad point for all of our kids during any holiday or birthday. If you’re a foster/adopted kid, you probably experience this too. Even though you love your adopted/foster family, at some point when you are with your foster/adopted mom, you begin to think about your biological mom. My kids begin to wonder how it would be if their biological mom was laughing with them, making them a special cake, hugging them after opening presents, and so on. Harry experienced the same sadness. He saw his family in the mirror and wanted so bad for his mom to hold him.

Here are suggestions my kids give for dealing with that sad feeling that comes with missing your biological home:

  • Send your biological parent(s) photos (if possible).
  • Call your biological mom and/or dad on a holiday (if possible).
  • Tell your foster/adopted parent(s) that you need to talk about how sad you feel.
  • Tell your foster/adopted parent(s) that you need a hug because you miss your biological family.
  • Write down all the things you miss about your biological home.
  • Draw a picture of things you remember doing at your biological home.

My kids all agreed that even though holidays are a ton of fun, missing your biological home hurts. It’s not bad to miss your biological home, and it’s good to talk about it. Missing your biological family during holidays is a normal part of an adopted/foster kid’s life, BUT you can get through it well with people who care for you.

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Now It’s Your Turn:

What traditions do you have? Do you have any suggestions for how foster/adopted children can deal with missing their biological families? Be sure to share your thoughts below. Your answers will help other kids and parents too.

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Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17