Epilogue – What would you tell John? – Kid Discussion


Thinking Past Chapter 17

In Chapter 17 Harry Potter has to comes to terms with the fact that he will be spending the Summer holiday with his aunt and uncle again.

“If I had to go back and live with the Dursleys, I would be like ‘AHHHH!'” exclaims our daughter with hands waving frantically in the air and her eyes wide open with fear.

Harry found out through this year that he was a special person and is now being made to return to the home that mistreated him.


The Kid from the Last Kids’ Discussion

At the end of the Chapter 17 we asked a question in the Kids’ Discussion about a friend that wanted to runaway to live with their biological mom. Let’s call this friend John and talk about him more today with the Fink kids.

John is your friend at school and you know that he is a foster child. He has been talking about school a lot lately about how he does NOT like his foster parents. John is especially mad at his foster parents because they grounded him for the weekend for not cleaning his room. You know that John never cleans his room and you know that John’s foster parents seem really nice. At lunch time at school John tells you that he is going to runaway from home and go back to live with his biological mom. John says that his life would be better with her. However, John has told you several times in the past that when he lived with his biological mom, she hit him a lot. In fact he had to go to the hospital quite a few times because of her hitting.

What do you tell John? Talk about this with your family before reading what the Fink kids thought about John’s situation.


Advice from Foster Turned Adopted Kids

Immediately when I shared this story, my eight year old said:

“Don’t! You’ll get hit. hit. hit. hospital. hit,” declared our eight year old.”

Our older kids had this advice for John:

“It’s okay to want to go back but you’re biological parents can’t take care of you right. It might even be dangerous. They (biological parents) can’t make it so you’re a good [independent and functioning] adult like your foster parents.”
“Being grounded isn’t a big deal. Everyone gets in trouble and your [foster] parents love you and stuff.”
“You know your [foster] parents love you. They just want you to learn to be a better adult and take care of your things. If you don’t learn to clean your room you’ll become a hoarder and end up on [the reality TV show] Hoarders.”

Did you agree with any of these thoughts? Why or why not?


It’s Your Turn:

  1. Harry had to go back to the Dursley’s house but John doesn’t have to go back to his biological mom’s house. Why would John want to go back there?
  2. Will running away help John’s situation with his foster parents? Why?
  3. Is it okay for John to be mad with his foster parents? Why or why not?
  4. Is it okay for John to want to go back home? Why or why not?
  5. If you were John, how would you fix this situation so that you didn’t felt better?


Written by
Co-founder and President of Transfiguring Adoption. Darren is a graduate of Illinois State University where he studied fine art. He offers foster and adoptive parents over a decade of experience in parenting foster and adoptive children, as well as his introductory to counseling training. Darren is the author of the "A Guide to Magical Creatures Around Your Home," book series. darren@transfiguringadoption.com LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/darrenfink Book series: www.magicalcreaturs.com

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