An American Girl Story – Melody 1963: Love Has to Win (2016) – Short Movie Review

Grade:

Transfiguring Adoption awarded this movie 4 Hoots out of 5 based on how useful it will be for a foster/adoptive family. [Learn more about our Hoot grading system here]

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Movie Info:

• Rating: Y-7
• Genre: Kids
• Runtime: 48 minutes
• Studio: Amazon Studios

From the Cover of An American Girl Story – Melody 1963: Love Has to Win (2016) by Amazon Studios:

“Set in Detroit during the Civil Rights Movement, “An American Girl Story – Melody 1963: Love Has to Win” examines the joyful life and troubled times of an irrepressible 10-year-old African-American Girl whose vivid imagination and creativity reinforce her optimism. When shocking national events threaten her sense of security, Melody must find inner strength to restore her hope for a better world.

The first episode references the tragic church bombing that took the lives of four little girls in Birmingham, Alabama. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who grew up in Birmingham was 8 years old at the time and was a personal childhood friend of the victims.”

Official Movie Trailer or TA Movie Review Video

Transfiguring Adoption’s Overview:

Movies:

The target audience appears to be children that are aged 7 and up.. It also appears this movie would be best for most families to gain perspective on how younger children may respond to national-level tragedy and changes.

While this did not specifically address a child’s experience in foster or adoptive care, Melody has certainly endured trauma similar to that of other children of color. Though it has been a long time since the Civil Rights Movement, children of color still deal with microaggressions within their communities as well as macro-aggressions similar to that experienced by Melody. This is a wonderful film to watch with your child and discuss a child of color’s unique experiences as well as to educate caregivers on how to watch for times where their children may need extra support or education on what their peers may be experiencing.

NO SPOILERS IN THIS SECTION!!!

** Spoilers Could Be Ahead **

How Is This Relevant To Adoption & Foster Care?

Share and explain the themes and concepts that make this movie relatable to foster care or adoption.

Why should families even care about this movie? Why should families be hesitant about this movie?

Discussion Points:

• • “Fear Brings Out the Worst of Us, But Love Brings Out the Best.”
    Throughout the film Melody is faced with many struggles unique to her as a black child among white children and adults that are prejudiced (and outright racist) towards her. Much like Melody, children of color frequently deal with aggressions of all sorts due to stereotypes perpetuated by media, oppressive systems, and even fear. While this is likely nothing new to a child of color, this may be a new perspective to caregivers that are white and have not witnessed microaggressions, let alone macroaggressions. It is important for personal growth of a caregiver to be willing to put aside your own pride and examine your own behaviors and underlying biases. It is important to self-examine your own biases (as every living human being has biases they must keep in check) so that you can help advocate for your child as well as watch for aggressions against your child. If caregivers are afraid to tackle such issues (hiding behind well-meaning but harmful terms like “color-blind” and other attempts to side-step racial inequality and bias) then we are allowing fear to control our own actions and this will hinder our attempts to prepare the children in our care for what to do when faced with prejudice or racism or when their peers are faced with aggressions and need their support. Remember, like Melody’s mom says, “Fear brings out the worst in us, but love brings out the best.” In the context of caring for a child of color, love means examining our place in potential systems of oppression and doing the hard mental and soul work required to educate ourselves and correct any biases we may encounter within ourselves first. 

• The Unique Struggles of Children of Color
  “Most Children Come to School and Think About Learning. I Think about how no one wants me here.” – Melody. This line shook me to my core as a white woman while watching this film. It is easy for me to take for granted that I got to go to school and focus on building friendships and making good grades. Yes, I had my share of bullying and issues but never was I made to feel like I did not belong in any of my schools because of the color of my skin. Never when I went to college was I made to feel like I was a representative of all white women when I spoke in my classrooms. And never ever as a caseworker has my professional or caregiving decision-making been questioned on the basis of my race. These are examples of my personal privilege as a white woman in America. It is easy for white caregivers to feel their hackles go up upon hearing the word. Privilege. It’s very important for white caregivers (and white folks in general) to remember that privilege does not mean a lack of struggle. I can speak to that as someone who only in recent generations had relatives complete high school and then attend college due to the poverty and lack of resources my family had living in Appalachia. I personally have known hunger when my family lacked resources to have 3 meals a day and utilized store samples to get by to pay day. And I personally have endured other traumas of my own. However, privilege means that I have never had to struggle because of my whiteness. This is a big piece to come to terms with as a white caregiver, or a caregiver that perhaps has not personally experienced the systemic oppression that children of color and their families  have experienced within child welfare systems, government systems, or education systems. We must be willing to lay aside our personal biases to be able to better advocate for our children, like Melody, who may respond in the classroom in a very age appropriate manner to injustice and be labeled as a “delinquent”. Or to push back when a person of color is targeted by a sales clerk for shoplifting for no reason. Or even when a colleague throws out a resume because the name sounds “too ghetto.” These are examples that I wish were an exaggeration but are the reality to many persons of color daily.

• Helping Your Child Strive for Their Dreams
  As I have discussed already, children of color have unique barriers in accessing the same privileges as their peers so there will be times that your child grows understandably frustrated, as Melody does when she is suspended for questioning the Pledge of Alliegence’s wording in light of the events of the Civil Rights Movement. And I think it’s safe for anyone to say at this point that little 10 year-old girl was absolutely right: It was not fair. Like Melody’s grandfather and mother though, we have the chance to love and support our children when they are feeling the weight of their struggles and help them keep dreaming for a better future. While in 1963 it seemed very far-fetched for a woman (let alone a black woman) to go to space… It happened eventually! Thanks to American Engineer Mae C. Jemison on 09/12/1992. That was within Melody’s lifetime! We even currently (in 2021) have a woman of color that we call Madam Vice President. While the progress seems slow it is thanks to movers and shakers that started out as 10 year-old with a dream that have broken glass ceilings and changed history. Who’s to say your child isn’t one of them? So it’s up to the bigger, stronger, wiser, kinder, adults in our kids lives to help them manage their frustrations, dream big, and chase after the next history-making decision. 

Cautionary Points:

• Descriptions of Peril, Injury, and Death
  While her grandfather listens to the radio, Melody overhears new coverage describing injuries of peaceful protesters that were harmed by police. This includes head injuries and descriptions of blood. The church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama was specifically referenced in TV news coverage as well. 

• Depictions of Macroaggressions Towards Children
  Despite being born in the United States Melody is told multiple times by children her age “go back to your country” and other similar aggressions. Melody is also accused of stealing from the dress store her mom works for just because she was the only black child in the store. Melody is also labeled as a problem and delinquent when asking pointed questions about the national headlines concerning protesters and justice. These interactions are very important for the story and explaining the experience of a black child among a predominantly white population but may still be triggering for children for whom this type of treatment is the norm. To this day black children are frequently labeled as “troubled” or a “problem” even when displaying behaviors typical for that of their own age due to deeply embedded stereotypes. 

• Deceased Parent
  Prior to the events of the film it is revealed that Melody’s father died in action as an Airforce Pilot. While we don’t hear about how exactly he died in detail, the loss of Melody’s father still felt as her mother struggles to balance work, life, and finances as a single parent and Melody’s Grandfather ruminates on the past. Like Melody, many children with trauma have suffered painful losses, whether it be by death or by temporary separation from being in the child welfare system. These are the type of losses that would be difficult for anyone to work through, but children with trauma often lack the learned skills necessary for working through grief and connections to caring adults willing to walk through grief. It is important for caregivers to watch for their children as they may be reminded of their own griefs and losses watching Melody and her family grieve for loss of loved ones and of what could have been.

Discussion Guide:

1. Who was your favorite character? Why did you like them the most?
   
   Caregiver Note: This question is meant to be an icebreaker to help you start discussing the movie with your child. Children often will struggle with discussing abstract things like thoughts and feelings so it is good to start with a light question to ease your child into the more difficult topics and to give them a more visual example of the topics you discuss. This can be helped by identifying a specific character and their struggle to identify your child’s feelings and experiences and help process them. 
2. When Melody’s mom talks about fear bringing out the worst in us but love bringing out the best, what do you think that means?
   
   Caregiver Note: Fear is a primal emotion. Fear sparks the stress activation system in our brains. According to research from Cornell University, emotional escalation can decrease cognitive functioning. The easy way to remember that? The angrier or more afraid we feel the stupider we become due to relying on fight-or-flight responses. As humans it is normal for us to fear what we do not know, and that fear response can make people think and act out in ways that perhaps they would not if they stopped and thinked through their feelings and behaviors. While connecting feelings to behavior may not be much of a surprise to a trauma-informed caregiver this may be a wholly new concept to a child with trauma as they may not be able to identify the fear-response in themselves let alone others. This question will give you the opportunity to talk through how fear and ignorance can often bring out the ugly in people while love, compassion, and using the prefrontal cortex of our brains can bring out the best due to the mindfulness that accompanies such a choice.  
3. Has there been a time where fear has brought out the worst in you? What happened? How did it feel?
   
   Caregiver Note: So now that we’ve explained to our child how our brains process things differently in response to fear and love, let’s bring this back to the child. It’s good to allow them to process this with an example they come up with as this will become more applicable for them to understand such abstract things like thoughts and feelings. Help them talk through a time where out of fear and anger maybe they said or did something they later knew was not loving, kind, or logical. This will help them connect to why others may act in unfair, unkind, and downright aggressive ways to people of minorities they may not know or understand due to fear and personal biases. 
4. How could that situation been different if your response was brought out of love? How could you approach it differently if the same issue comes up again?
   
   Caregiver Note: This is a great discussion that should be lead mostly by your child. Depending on their age and level of understanding they may struggle with this. But some examples may be learning about the subject of conflict more, learning more about the person they are having conflict with and why they may think differently, changing tone and word choice, asking more questions than making demands, remembering it’s two people vs. the problem and not person vs. person, examining personal biases, etc. 
5. When Melody was in school, how was she treated differently? Or at her mom’s store? What were some ways that others let fear bring out the worst in them?
   
   Caregiver Note: Melody was really run through the wringer in her recently-integrated school. She was told to go back to where she came from (though she is an American citizen), socially ostracized, did not receive aid from her teacher when bullied by her peers, was suspended over minor outbursts, and when shopping was accused of stealing due to the personal bias of a store clerk. All of these interactions were completely unfair and Melody usually received the brunt of the consequences of other’s bias, fear, and ignorance. Discuss these behaviors and how they were unjust and born out of other’s fear of what they did not know or want to know. 
6. Why did Melody’s classmates, teacher, and her mother’s coworkers treat her differently?
   
   Caregiver Note: The answer is simple. Melody was a lone black child in her classroom. Due to stereotypes and biases Melody is treated as someone that did not belong in white spaces and was expected to act as a representative of her race rather than as a child with justified feelings. Melody was treated unfairly because of her race due to personal biases of all of the white characters that treated her unjustly and systemic barriers that reinforced these biases for so long, which was why the schools needed integration to begin with. 
7. How does how Melody’s white peers and adults around her treating her like this affect her schooling, friendships, and dreams?

Caregiver Note: School is hard. I know I would never choose to relive my public school-days. You are learning tons of subject matter daily, navigating novel social situations regularly, cramming in homework with whatever chores or after-school activities, getting play time in somehow and still expected to sleep. That’s all plenty hard enough and is a full-time job for a growing child. So adding in the loneliness from the social ostracization from her white classmates and the understandable pain, frustration, and mental energy required to endure the oppressive nature of the largely-white classroom takes an even bigger toll on this sweet, smart, creative child. It’s understandable that she is tired of fighting against the grain towards the end of the episode. Much like Melody, children of color are going to feel the weight of these unique barriers they struggle with in addition to the traumas they’ve endured before coming to your home. It’s important for you as the caregiver to help validate your child’s emotions like Melody’s mother and grandfather and encourage them to follow their dreams when it feels impossible. And if you are not currently parenting a child of color it’s important to teach white children the same lessons you may very well be learning as well: How to be an ally. The next couple of questions can be helpful with starting that conversation with a while child to help them be better friends to their friends that may be struggling with these barriers and stand up to injustice in their peer groups.

8. Has there been a time where you have seen someone treat someone unjust like Melody?

Caregiver Note: This part may surprise you depending on your personal experiences with systemic and societal racism and prejudice. While humans are not born inherently racism children are like sponges and soak up everything they hear and see in their younger years. This means that children as young as age 3 can start associating racial groups with negative traits. Have you ever heard a white preschooler tell a black preschooler that she was dirty and needed a bath because of her dark skin? I have. This is a subject that should be addressed early and reinforced often as your children grow and approach new social situations.

9. What helped Melody the most when struggling with these unfair situations?

Caregiver Note: What really helped Melody over time, in addition to encouragement from her family and, later, her teacher, it really helped when slowly some of her peers started pushing back against unjust behaviors too. For your children of color it’s going to be very crucial to intentionally surround that child with supportive adults and peers that will act as buffers to hateful, racist behaviors. For your white children it is important to help teach them not only when to stand up and defend but also how to encourage their friends and potential siblings when things get tough. Work through this question to come up with ways that helped Melody. If you are parenting a child of color this is an opportunity to discuss how you can help be a better advocate for this child as well.

10. Who helped encourage Melody to keep dreaming when she was discouraged? How can we encourage others when they are being treated unjustly?

Caregiver Note: Melody was helped most when the adults around her took the time to validate Melody’s emotions concerning her experiences and peers took the time to learn about her as an individual person and move away from stereotypes. Help your child work through other ways they can help be better friends and allies to their own peers.