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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before – Discussion Guide

Discussion Guide:

Like many YA novels, this book is broken up into many shorter chapters. Using this format I will be posing a discussion question for every 7-10 chapters. At the end, I will pose a final question, summarizing the plot of the story as a whole. I will also present an activity, to be done as a family, using the themes of the story to foster a deeper connection with your teen.

Chapter 1-7

  1.  In the story, Lara Jean’s older sister Margot is portrayed as the picture of perfection. It can be hard living up to the expectations set by older siblings or parent. Ask your child what they feel some of their own strengths are, and how they can develop those.
    Caregiver Note: Teens feel a lot of pressure to succeed. School, Home, Work, and the loom of University cause many teens to push themselves past physical and emotional limits. This can cause dangerous burnout, especially in foster/adoptive children who may already feel like they have to “prove themselves.” Talking to your teen about how they can be the best version of themselves, and play to their own strengths instead of trying to live up to someone else’s idea of success is a vital part in creating a supportive environment for…

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**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.


Written by
Robyn lives in Charlotte, NC where she divides her time working as a newborn care specialist, writing, and speaking at literature conventions around the Southeast. She pursued a double major in Sociology/Psychology at university, concentrating in child psychology. She rose to become president of the Sociology/Psychology Association chapter on campus. She was adopted as an infant and uses her experience as an adoptee in a cross-racial family to write and speak about challenges that may arise for both children and caretakers. When not writing, speaking, or holding babies, you can find Robyn in Asheville, NC hiking with her dog.

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