Grade:

Transfiguring Adoption awarded this movie 1 Hoot out of 5 based on how useful it will be for a foster/adoptive family. [Learn more about our Hoot grading system here]

Movie Info:

• Rating: R (Some Sexual Material, Language, Strong/Bloody Violence)
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
• Runtime: 131 minutes
• Studio: 20th Century Studios

From the Cover of The King’s Man (2021) by 20th Century Studios:

“One man must race against time to stop history’s worst tyrants and criminal masterminds from starting a war and wiping out millions of people.”

Transfiguring Adoption’s Overview:

The target audience appears to be for adults. While many action movies at times can be targeted towards teens and youth these days but still hesitate over the line of appropriateness this is not at all a movie intended for audiences under 17. It is advised that families adhere to the “R” rating given and avoid this film for their teens or youth. This film does not address foster or adoptive care but does have a significant amount of trauma triggers surrounding violence, loss and grief, and inappropriate behaviors.

** Spoilers Could Be Ahead **

How Is This Relevant To Adoption & Foster Care?

As mentioned above, this film is not for teens or youth as it is rated “R” and for good reason. There are several sequences of inappropriate sexual content, lots of foul language, and there are onscreen deaths including that of a parent in front of a child, animals that are revered as close companions, and in the contexts of espionage and war battlefields. While we may do the best we can to ensure youth in our care only view material appropriate for their age and unique needs there are times where a youth may come into your home and have already viewed a film like The King’s Man (2021). At first glance a teen may appear to be fine with this viewing and only needs to be reigned in on mimicking or quoting content. However, trauma informed caregivers need to remember that sometimes there is more below the surface for youth who have endured trauma and then have watched intense content. There may not be a quick response to what is viewed but questions that come up later after time for reflection. At those moments that usually-independent teen may need a stronger, kinder, wiser adult to help them process the emotions they are experiencing after viewing questionable material and so being prepared to discuss the film may help you as a caregiver support your child. To make a silver-lining from this experience caregivers can discuss themes such as reputation vs. character, processing fear, and grief & loss.

Discussion Points:

• Reputation vs. Character
  One theme that stands out in this film is the difference between reputation and character. Character in this film, and outside of the film, is defined as the stuff a person is made of when no one is looking. Reputation is more inclined towards how others perceive you. This is a distinction that is important in the world of espionage and calculated moves, but it’s easy for adults to forget how much a teen’s sense of reputation often can feel more important when mingling with other teens. While of course we’d like to strive for a positive reputation there are times where teens who have been through trauma don’t get the chance to learn about good character and how the decisions and choices made when no one is looking defines us much more than how the world sees us. This can be liberating upon learning this distinction but very difficult to process as reputation is more concrete and visible to teens whereas character is more of an abstract thought. For this reason if a teen has already seen this movie a caregiver can help process this distinction to apply to life skill building.

• Processing Fear
  “Fear is natural. The problem is the more you fear something the more likely it is to come true.” – Polly. This perfectly encapsulates a lesson important for both caregivers and teens. As seen with Conrad, it is very natural for young people to want to spread their wings and participate in the world around them. They will have fears and inhibitions, sure, but they haven’t had the chance to develop cognitively in functioning that allows for thinking of long-term ramifications of their participation in novel experiences or how likely they truly are to experience lasting consequences. For this reason it’s natural that we caregivers will want to be like Orlando and hold our children close to ourselves in hopes they can avoid the pain we have endured ourselves. This is especially true when we have already seen our youth suffer and wish for them to move forward with success and happiness. While that is understandable caregivers do need to honor and respect a youth’s need for independence and exploring the world around them without having a helicopter parent constantly keeping them safe in a bubble. It is best for caregivers to prepare themselves for teens to experience hardship and be prepared to be the hands that catch them when they need support. Eventually, like Conrad, whether we like it or not our children will experience profound experiences and caregivers need to do their best to prepare a safe space for youth to approach when they need help rather than hide mistakes or fear to avoid perceived punishment or rejection.
• Grief & Loss
  This theme may not be the most unique or novel one but it is one of the most important life skills to learn about. Many teens who have experienced trauma and have been separated from family of origin have lacked experiences to learn how to both honor and process grief and loss. This is a hard lesson to learn but all children and youth must learn how to process grief and loss as this is one of the most universal human experiences in existence. Caregivers don’t want their children to feel such losses and it’s easy for adults to want to distract a child from grief or tell them “it’s going to be okay” because watching children and youth suffer is hard. However, the best thing a caregiver can do for any child in their care of any age is to quietly accept their child’s pain, lead by example in how to acknowledge and honor emotions associated with grief, and teach them how to find a new normal with you by their side every step of the way.

Cautionary Points:

• Violence
  Listen guys, if it can happen it does when it comes to violence around World War I. There are airplane crashes, lots of gun violence, submarine bombs, ship explosions, near drownings, fatal falls, grenades, machine guns, hand-to-hand knife combat, sword fights, warning shots fired at characters to get attention, stabbings, assassination attempts, bombs, war scenes, violence against women, scenes of youth men being prepared for violence, animals harmed (yes, the goat dies), sniper sequences, a beheading, and more. This is a rated “R” film and should be acknowledged as such. Even if it seems your teen is completely desensitized to such content it is not advised they consume such levels of violence. In youth who have endured trauma there is often an overuse of the limbic system that leads to heightened levels of hyper-arousal even under positive circumstances. This can lead to a youth seeming to self-sabotage at a birthday party or Christmas morning because their brain has been so overwhelmed with cortisol and adrenaline in the past that the body responds to even positive excitement as if it is dangerous. This can leave both adults and youth alike confused, angry, and hurt. Knowing this challenge already exists, it is advised that youth not be exposed to such violence that will certainly alert the “fight or flight” system in their brains and set them up for further struggles.

• On-Screen Graphic Deaths
  Throughout the movie several characters are shown graphically dying on screen with blood shown or spattering from wounds, This includes a mother being shot in front of a son, soldiers dying on battlefield of war including a main character, several fatalities in hand-to-hand combat situations, assassinations, and more. While these deaths are fictional a youth who has experienced the grief of losing a loved one such as a parent or close family member may react to this strongly. Grief unresolved can be triggered by additional losses, real or fictional, and this can cause a strong reaction for a teen if left unattended.
• Inappropriate Sexual Content
  This is mostly centered around Rasputin’s bizarre behavior. Rasputin is rumored to have pedophilic tendencies and one plot centers around using Conrad as bait for him. Rasputin also is very inappropriate with open-mouth kissing men and women alike, sensually licking a wound, undressing characters, and grossly eating foods in a sensual manner. He also says some verbally intense things like “We fuck like tigers.” and other unsettling things like “I only make decisions when my stomach is full or my balls are empty.” You can probably get the gist from there that this is not a film for teens in any way, shape, or form. There is also a character who seduces a government official and is blackmailed with video reels of the affair. While the sexual encounter is not shown on screen the seducer is shown disrobing in pictures on the reel.
• Depictions of War/Battlefield
  This film is wrought with imagery from World War I battlefields and other such themes. Youth who have survived wars or battles in situations with rapid gunfire, explosions from bombs, and planes lying overhead can be triggered by the graphic scenes in this film. There are also soldiers who have amputated limbs and are shown with such injuries related to amputations. Orlando also shows PTSD-like flashbacks of his time in war in the past. Finally, there is also a depiction of a concentration camp at the very start of the film where victims are shown to be starved and suffering.
• Mature Language
  In addition to the sexualized conversation there are generous uses of “fuck” and “goddamn” throughout the film. There are other less intense words used as well such as “damn”, “bastard”, and “shit” as well but the first two words definitely warranted the “R” rating.

• Substance Abuse/Poisoning
  With a movie about spying and such I suppose it comes with the territory but there are scenes of alcohol being used in excess, characters being poisoned (or attempted to be poisoned), and characters having substances implied for use of suicide. There is a particular scene where Rasputin has poisoned a child to manipulate a ruler and then, in turn, uses opium to drug and control the same ruler. There is an attempt on Rasputin’s life with cyanide as well as cyanide pills being distributed among the bad guys to use if captured. None of these themes are appropriate for minors.

• Bodily Fluids Shown On-Screen
  In addition to all the gross bloody wounds (fatal or not) shown on-screen there is also a very graphic sequence of Rasputin projectile vomiting. Viewer discretion is advised for those with weak stomachs as the vomiting and blood can get pretty graphic.

• Able-Bodied Person Mocks Character’s Disability
  In one scene it is noted that the Kaiser is very sensitive towards hostility from his cousins the Tzar of Russia and the King of England. It is referenced several times this is because of the mocking of the Kaiser’s disfigured hand from boyhood. While this is only in a couple of scenes this may still be upsetting as well.

Discussion Guide:

1. What was your favorite character? Why is that?
   Caregiver Note: While this question will appear to be “fluff”, this is a good way to start discussing hard topics. Just jumping into hard questions is often difficult for most adults, let alone youth that struggle with interpersonal relationships and trusting adults. Allow your youth to discuss characters they appreciate and why to gain insight into where your youth may be emotionally and mentally with associating with such characters. I don’t advise this as clinical advice, but if you talk more about the movie this may help you make other connections later as a caregiver.
2. Why does Conrad get so frustrated with his dad, Orlando, about his apparent pacifism?
   Caregiver Note: Conrad is a young man who wants very much to define himself in the world but struggles to find independence from the identity his father holds. It doesn’t help that others around him reinforce to Conrad through their actions that he is cowardly for not lying about his age to enlist in the military like other boys. So while Conrad may know deep down that war is not the place to be, he feels conflicted in that he should be there suffering the same lot as others in his age cohort. In the same way we want, like Orlando, to hold our youth close without explanation there will be times that it is necessary that we reveal what is behind the curtain for our youth. “Because I said so” may have worked for your child in the past but as they grow and become better aware of the world around them, youth need more than just a “yes” or “no” from their guardians. They need to be taught why we are saying yes and no so that they can, in turn, make good choices when they don’t have us around to help guide them. This helps them build character so they can rely on this compass later on in life.
   
3. What is the difference between reputation and character?
   Caregiver Note: Allow your youth to use imagery from the movie if that helps: “Reputation is what people can give you. Character is what you are.” Across the board though reputation is how others perceive someone where character is the stuff that someone is truly made of. While the world may think Orlando is purely a pacifist scared from the loss of his wife Orlando has found that this allows him the perfect persona for spying and relaying information for the good of the country and his loved ones. For this reason, Orlando is not bothered by his reputation as he knows he is doing what he can for the ones he loves using this unique reputation to his advantage.
4. Has there been a time where someone mistook your reputation for your character? What happened?
   Caregiver Note: Allow your teen to lead this conversation as far as they are comfortable. This may need to be an ongoing conversation, and that’s great. For one thing repetition is key to helping learn important things. For another, your teen may come across more conflicts between reputation and character as they continue to move forward and may need additional help later.
5. Why does Orlando not want Conrad to go fight in the war?
   Caregiver Note: This is pretty straightforward to adults but may not be so much for teens who lack the insight necessary for this question. Orlando has survived war before and knows the losses that come with it. He first hand has seen his wife become a casualty of war in spite of taking a helping approach through medical services. He has lost friends. It only makes sense he wants to spare his son the pain of losing others in addition to keeping him safe from harm. When talking about his experiences to Conrad he says “Every man I killed, I killed a piece of myself.” This reflects how taking lives changed Orlando’s character and led him to changing the trajectory of his entire life in hopes of shielding others from the same experiences.
6. Why is Conrad so determined to enlist in the military?
   Caregiver Note: Conrad is the perfect example of the adolescent/youth adult. He is eager to find who he is in the world, make a name for himself, be a part of his community, and wishes to try novel experiences. He also is headstrong, lacking in life experience, and hasn’t developed the insight yet to make good decisions. Some of this is due to his age and cognitive development — this is very normal for a youth of his age and in this time of war and uncertainty. However, Orlando holding him closer almost seems to encourage Conrad’s determination rather than diminish it. Why? Because up until it was pretty much too late Orlando did not take the time to explain why. He didn’t take time to really connect with Conrad and share his experiences. He also withheld Conrad from perfectly normal activities such as visiting his cousins and participating in age-appropriate activities. This is a great reminder for caregivers how helicopter parenting can often backfire if there is a lack of understanding in an adolescent need in development for social experiences like that of their peers in safe contexts. If they don’t learn from age-appropriate experiences how to make decisions for themselves with us to buffer as they learn this can lead to life-long consequences. Of course, there is no such thing as perfect parenting but we can strive to learn about and honor the adolescent experience and tailor our parenting strategies to be as unique as the children we parent.
7. What could have made it easier for Conrad to talk to his father about why he wanted to enlist? How could Orlando have still said “no” but have made Conrad feel heard?
   Caregiver Note: Caregivers, be prepared to hear some hard truths. While we are talking about Orlando and Conrad we may see our teen talk about experiences where we have not been our most gracious. And that’s okay! This gives our teen a chance to see that we have a safe space for them to process hard things with them and that we are here for them whether we need to model grace or apologies. Allow your youth to talk through this subject and lead the conversation. This may need to be re-evaluated occasionally but again it is good to see the connection and communication as a strength and not a weakness.
8. How did Orlando show that he still was grieving for Emily? For Conrad when he died?
   Caregiver Note: Orlando showed grief for Emily in how he withdrew from people around him and sheltered Conrad in an over-protective stance. He later showed immense grief for us on screen by crying, drinking to drunkenness, and not taking care of himself. It is important to note too that Orlando’s previous grief for Emily was further compacted by losing Conrad and showed in how he continued to apologize to her photo. When something happens a long time ago it’s easy for us to take for granted that a youth is “over it” and has moved on. In reality, grief is more complex than this. Grief is like the tide of the ocean in that it ebbs and flows throughout our experiences. Sometimes a new grief can further exacerbate an older grief and make the grieving process more complex. This can be the same for children and youth of any age and is not just limited to the experience of adults. For this reason it’s important for youth to learn that it’s perfectly acceptable and normal to grief and hold space for such emotions.
9. How did Orlando find a way to move forward after losing Emily? After losing Conrad?
   Caregiver Note: Orlando was not as successful in finding closure for Emily until after losing Conrad and integrating those griefs together. While Orlando did focus himself on raising Conrad and helping England in his spy work it ended up being the realization that he could honor his son’s legacy in a new way that really helped him establish a new sense of normal that honored his grief for both Emily and Conrad. This manifested in forming The Kingsmen.
10. What are some ways I can help you when you are hurting like Orlando?
    Caregiver Note: This is another question that can be revisited often and later as needed. As youth grow their needs and wants will naturally change. A younger child may need soothing with being held and rocked, while an older child may prefer someone to just sit with them while they feel emotions freely. For this reason it’s good to option up communication about such topics and leave them open for the child to approach and revisit as needed. You may also need to initiate such discussion in the beginning as well but the hope is that this can become an ongoing communication with trust and understanding.

About the Reviewer: Rachael Rathe

Rachael B. Rathe is an East Tennessee native with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology with a Minor in Child & Family Studies from The University of Tennessee Knoxville. She has worked in mental health since 2013 and in foster care/adoptions for a private provider agency since 2014. Rachael was inspired to work in the field after working with children and teens on a volunteer basis 2008 – 2013. Rachael’s ideal self-care day involves snuggling on a couch with her kitties (Tabitha, Fergus, and Rufus) while enjoying a good movie or book. She also enjoys galavanting around conventions concerning all things nerd and geekery.

**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its reviews nor this discussion packet to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.