Grade:

Transfiguring Adoption awarded this movie 3 Hoot out of 5 based on how useful it will be for a foster/adoptive family. [Learn more about our Hoot grading system here]

Movie Info:

• Rating: PG-13 (Sequences of Action/Violence, Brief Suggestive Comments, Some Language)
• Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy
• Runtime: 148 minutes
• Studio: Disney, Marvel Studios

From the Cover of Spider-Man: No Way Home(2021) by Marvel Studios:

“For the first time in the cinematic history of Spider-Man, our friendly neighborhood hero’s identity is revealed, bringing his Super Hero responsibilities into conflict with his normal life and putting those he cares about most at risk. When he enlists Doctor Strange’s help to restore his secret, the spell tears a hole in their world, releasing the most powerful villains who’ve ever fought a Spider-Man in any universe. Now, Peter will have to overcome his greatest challenge yet, which will not only forever alter his own future but the future of the Multiverse.”

Transfiguring Adoption’s Overview:

Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) is the third Marvel/Sony collaboration film that takes place in the same universe as the Avengers. Teens familiar with the Avengers and Tom Holland’s rendition of the webslinger will likely enjoy this film. The target audience appears to be teens 13 and up. Caregivers should note this is not a “kids’ movie” and will have more mature themes and a longer run time due to this being a film for older youth and adults.

Overall the film itself was a great action film but is very long and has a complex story-line that younger children will not understand. I completely understand a younger child’s interest in other Spidey adventures but this is not going to mesh with those other universes and will expose them to existential and abstract traumas that they will not enjoy or understand. There is some violence and language as well that are not suitable for younger audiences. Just because a film has super heroes does not immediately make it a kid-friendly movie and parents should always consider MPAA ratings before taking their children to movies even before considering potential trauma triggering.

** Spoilers Could Be Ahead **

How Is This Relevant To Adoption & Foster Care?

While characters are not explicitly in foster or adoptive care Peter himself is a youth who has been raised by his Aunt May following the passing of his parents prior to the events of the films. Due to the separation from his parents Peter has experienced and in navigating young adulthood with multiple identities this may resonate with youth who have endured similar traumas.

While I wish I could assure you that this is a film that will end with warm-fuzzies and closure I must warn you that this is not the case. In addition to the usual Marvel Studios battles and banter there are some very heavy themes in this film that could potentially be triggering for youth who have endured traumas surrounding grief and loss, death of a primary caregiver, identity crises, mental illness, and more. For this reason I would advise that caregivers of youth who are 13 and up view this film with their teen so they can be prepared to discuss some of these heavy topics after the youth has had time to process the events of the film.

Discussion Points:

• Honoring Grief in Loss
  Even when far apart children will long for and think of their biological family. This is human nature as we are biologically wired to form attachment to our primary caregivers at birth. For this reason caregivers need to be prepared for their children to ask questions or talk about their biological family and not discourage such conversation. Even if the biological family was not in the picture for long they still represent much of your child’s identity and culture and should be given respect as such. Though it’s hard because caregivers often focus on the pain and suffering a biological relative may have caused that led to removal, the biological family always deserves our utmost reverence especially when speaking to our children. Our child literally wouldn’t exist without them and it’s important to remember that, especially when things are feeling hard or intense.

• Identifying Healthy & Supportive Relationships
  Resilience is very important for healing trauma. One protective factor for helping youth process trauma is having a wide network of support. Peter shows a great example of support (even after losing some Avengers and Aunt May) through his relationships with Ned and MJ. Unlike Peter, many youth who have been through trauma in foster care or adoption backgrounds may not have had the opportunity to learn how to identify trusting relationships and develop a support network and will need additional help from caregivers in navigating this skill. Though by the end Peter let MJ and Ned go on without remembering him it was clear how important their legacy was to him in his keeping Ned’s LEGO Emperor Palpatine and MJ’s coffee cup before embarking on his new phase as Spider-Man and these bonds still give him strength even when separated from them.

• Developing Better Self-Esteem/Self-Talk
  One of my favorite parts of the film was watching the three Spider-Man actors all talking to one another and building each other up. Toby McGuire’s Spider-Man comes more seasoned and is quick to encourage and advise the other two characters as they are still actively processing grief in their own ways. He also shows them that they can eventually find closure and move forward in their identities as Spider-Man. Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man shares with them how hard the loss of Gwen was for him (in addition to other losses) and shares how revenge did not make anything better. And Tom Holland’s Spider-Man teaches the two previously-solo heroes how to work together as a team and utilizing one another’s strengths. I loved how this very much mirrors how sometimes youth need help learning how to develop self-talk internally with themselves and need another person sometimes to validate their emotions, support their grief, and help advise and support as they move forward. Eventually the goal is to help youth learn to reframe experiences and work through struggles both as individuals and in supportive relationship teams.

Cautionary Points:

• Fantasy/Supernatural Violence
  As with most Marvel movies there are plenty of fight scenes and characters in peril. This includes explosions, vehicles crashing into one another and being flung, hand-to-hand combat sequences including with superpowered weaponry, magical spells, a trans-dimensional fight with fall sequences, use of wild inventions for battle, forced astral projection, grenades, buildings destroyed, elemental-based attacks (e.g. – electricity, sand), stabbings from various weapons, etc. Remember, children and teens who have been through trauma sometimes can self-sabotage in response to bursts of adrenaline even from fun experiences like enjoying an action movie because this is the same neural pathway their traumatized brain goes through when they are experiencing fight-or-flight responses to danger. This means your child could potentially act out with survival behaviors or have nightmares in response to the violence depicted in this movie. So with a movie with this level of violence you are also risking your child becoming retraumatized from past events and responding to all of the various trauma triggers plus associating a fun experience with all of it.

• Character Death & Permanent Separation from Loved Ones
  Towards the end of the film Aunt May dies on screen in Peter’s arms following an attack from the villains. Peter blames himself for her death due to being the reason the villains were brought into their universe and giving the villains a second chance at their lives by looking for their “cures” before returning them. Additionally, the film ends with no one in any universe remembering Peter Parker and Peter finds himself completely alone without support of any sort after it is revealed this is the only way to prevent the multiverse from merging. This self-blame and grief processing can resemble that of children who have been through trauma such as those from foster or adoptive circumstances. Often youth who have been separated from a primary caregiver due to death or another type of permanent separation may blame themselves though they had no true responsibility in what happened to their loved one. For this reason Peter’s grief may compound with their own unresolved grief and create some emotions too heavy for one youth (or anyone) to handle.

• Foul Language & Crude Humor
  Through the course of the there are several uses of the words “ass”, “shit”, “damned”, and an implied f-bomb censored by a car alarm. There are also sequences of characters appearing naked after quick costume changes or transforming into humanoid. This is joked about including Electro when he says “Are we gonna act like I’m not buck-ass naked?” post transformation in one scene. There is also a scene of Peter and MJ having Aunt May walk in on them just after flying through the window to avoid paparazzi and Peter being mid-changed from the Spidey suit while still holding MJ from flying in. She appears to believe she walked in on them being intimate and responds awkwardly as such. There is also a sequence where Aunt May and Happy have broken up (Aunt May calling the relationship a “fling”) and Aunt May brings up sex to Peter in the midst of the confusion of this happening along with Peter and MJ showing up in a compromised position. Finally, in an end-of-credits scene Eddie and Venom are shown drunk in a bar in Mexico. Venom demands to go skinny dipping in this scene before they are sent back to their universe.

• Violent Depictions of Mental Illness
  During the film villains including Green Goblin (Norman Osborn) and Doc Ock (Dr. Otto Octavius) are depicted as having voices in their head. Norman especially is shown as being very confused between times when Green Goblin takes over his head and shows a significant amount of distress. Additionally, the removal of these “voices” by interventions from the three Spider-Man team appears to completely take away all evil desires or plans. When the “bad” alter-egos take over and the “voices” kick up though both characters are shown to be violent and very evil. In addition to these being some heavy depictions of mental illness youth may be triggered by the depiction of dual personalities and auditory hallucinations as seen in the film especially if they have a history of treatment for similar issues.

• Negative Depictions of Authority/Police
  In response to the accusations that Peter attempted to use Stark technology to harm civilians in an act of war crime and murder Mysterio he is detained (along with Aunt May, MJ, and Ned) for questioning. Aunt May and MJ both frequently and often state their rights and point out areas in which it appears the police are not following civil rights. It is not specified in the movie if Peter, Ned, or MJ are minors at the time of detainment and various interrogation techniques are employed, possibly illegally. There is also a possibility that the Department of Damage Control (DODC) enters their apartment to detain and search without a warrant. Aunt May is also threatened with Child Endangerment charges for allowing Peter to act as Spider-Man. In addition to all of these sequences being scary in general, many youth have had varying experiences with law enforcement and may be triggered by the depiction of a government agency treating Peter and company in such ways. Youth who have endured trauma often already have a hard time trusting adults without such depictions reinforcing that adults are not safe. 

• Bullying in Journalism
  When it was announced that J.K. Simmons would reprise his role as  J. Jonah Jameson from the first Spider-Man trilogy, I did expect heavy criticism for Peter. What I did not expect was the all-out onslaught of emotional and verbal abuse spewed by Jameson at a character that is barely an adult. This, in addition to retaliations from Mysterio supporters such as flinging paint and bricks at Peter, made for some intense bullying sequences that clearly had a huge effect on Peter as he processes how to move forward and how he is defined in his identity. Even a coach from school called him a murderer to his face upon returning to class. While hopefully your youth won’t have an entire news outlet dedicated to smearing them, bullying is still a hard topic to process when living it and your youth may need added support watching Peter endure the harassment to such a degree.

Discussion Guide:

1. What was your favorite character? Why is that?
   Caregiver Note: While this question will appear to be “fluff”, this is a good way to start discussing hard topics. Just jumping into hard questions is often difficult for most adults, let alone youth who struggle with interpersonal relationships and trusting adults. Allow your youth to discuss characters they appreciate and why to gain insight into where your youth may be emotionally and mentally with associating with such characters. I don’t advise this as clinical advice, but if you talk more about the movie this may help you make other connections later as a caregiver.
2. Why does Peter blame himself for what happened to Aunt May?
   Caregiver Note: Grief and loss are very normal and natural experiences for humans. At some point every single one of us will lose at least one person we care about. For some youth though, these losses occur sooner than anticipated and often more closely together. Not only will the grief be heavy but the youth in these circumstances will be missing a key component to developing resiliency and skills to process grief: supportive relationships. Peter has already lost his mother, father, and Tony Stark who very much functioned as a father figure in his life. So it is very understandable that Peter will take it very hard when Aunt May dies after being attacked by the very group of villains she encouraged him to save. We as the audience know that Peter is not at fault for her tragic death, but grief can often convince us in states of denial that we could have done more than what was really possible to prevent such a loss. Peter is not exempt from experiencing denial during his grief processing.
3. When the other Spider-Mans from the multiverse spoke to Peter they told him that being rage-full and out of control didn’t make it better. Has there been a time where you retaliated against someone who hurt you? Did it help?
   Caregiver Note: This is a chance to allow your youth to apply what they’ve learned about grief to their own world. Allow them to talk through their experiences at their own pace with no judgment. Remember that very few of us are capable of being in full control of our emotions in intense grief and any one of us could make similar mistakes under the worst of circumstances. In moments like this it is important to focus on connecting with your youth and developing trusting relationships. This means understanding that your youth will mess up (we all do) and that your intention is creating a safe space for youth to feel comfortable coming to you for help rather than hiding mistakes as this is not something they have learned in the past.
4. What are some things Peter did or had available that did help with grieving for Aunt May? What are some things that would help you?
   Caregiver Note: Let your teen lead this part of the conversation. This may be a topic that gets discussed more later as a child grows and develops more abstract thought. While it helps to have movie characters to represent the integration and grief process every youth’s journey of self-discovery will be unique and will take different amounts of time. It’s also good to check in periodically as your child grows and understands more with age and develops more self-awareness of their identity and trauma. Some examples you may be able to point out to help may include Peter learning from a safe adult how to express emotions, having supportive friendships with Ned and MJ who are resilient themselves, and having support from positive influences like Dr. Strange.
   
5. How do MJ and Ned show they are good, positive friendships for Peter?
   Caregiver Note: While there are many people around Peter who want the clout he possesses as an Avenger and talented guy, Peter exclusively trusts Ned and MJ above all others. These relationships are grounded in a history of honesty and loyalty. MJ and Ned are also willing to tell Peter hard truths even when conflict feels inevitable because they care for their friend. They are also amazing in their supportive responses to Peter losing Aunt May in giving him unconditional support.
6. Why does MJ ask that Peter ask her and Ned before making huge decisions in the future?Caregiver Note: While Peter means well, as we see in the fallout from the MIT rejection letters, Peter is still a young adult and hasn’t learned how to process and plan. While the quick thinking and improvisation is great on the battlefield Peter has missed out on opportunities to slow down and think through consequences for his actions… including consequences for those around him. In asking to brainstorm together for life-altering decisions MJ is requesting a very reasonable boundary and asks for this in a way that both honors Peter’s love and sincerity in wanting to protect those he loves while also placing healthy boundaries for herself and Ned so that moving forward they can hopefully avoid such complications in the future.
7. What ages are each of the Peters? What kinds of things are they dealing with?
   Caregiver Note: When we meet the other two Peter Parkers we see some variance in ages. While Tom Holland’s Peter Parker is just coming out of high school, Andrew Garfield’s is clearly at least in his 20s and still grieving the loss of Gwen Stacey. Toby McGuire’s Peter Parker is even older and has clearly had the time and space to process trauma. Additionally, Toby’s Peter started his journey as an older character. New research has shown us that resilience is not only affected by social supports and the amount of trauma exposure but also by when trauma occurs. For this reason it makes sense that Toby McGuire’s Peter Parker had more life experience and time to develop social skills prior to losing Uncle Ben and starting his path as Spider-Man. Similarly, Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man was a little younger when he lost his Uncle Ben and our newest Peter Parker is the youngest. For this reason it makes sense that the events in Tom Holland’s Peter Parker experience compound even harder especially in light of having less caring adult supports available than his multiverse counterparts.
8. Why do the Peters all compare themselves to one another? Why was Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man so quick to discount his own experiences?
   Caregiver Note: Self-Talk is a reflection of our self-esteem. Garfield’s Spider-Man is still reeling from the grief of losing Gwen and is filled with self-doubt about his abilities. It’s easy to see how hearing about one Peter fighting in space and another being so far ahead in life and relationships could bring up these feelings of inadequacy especially without having the support the other two Spider-Mans have had historically. As a result he needs someone to help him reframe his experiences to find his strengths. Your youth will also need a cheerleader in the same way to help teach skills in reframing and developing positive self-talk while processing experiences and developing new strategies for the future to prevent self-sabotage from negative self-talk.
9. What are some times where it’s hard for you to see your strengths? How can I be like Toby McGuire’s Spider-Man and help remind you of those strengths?
   Caregiver Note: Allow your youth to talk through this with minimal guidance. Be prepared to take criticism too as sometimes we may hear that our reactions to misbehavior or bad choices may trigger a child to avoid telling us they need help. Focus on connection and helping your child identify connection, contentment, and changed behavior as signs of progress in this area.
10.  ACTIVITY: Square Breathing Technique (for developing Spidey-Senses in Mindfulness)
    Caregiver Note: This is a great technique that works best in a quiet, comfortable space but can ultimately be done almost anywhere when things are feeling chaotic. In my experience, children often learn that “deep breaths” are good but when discussing the mechanics of such exercises they often struggle with steps on how to know how to do these breaths to reach a state of calm. The square breathing technique will help give something more tangible for a child to understand how this works.First, sit upright in a comfortable chair with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Then, place your hands upwards on your lap and close your eyes. Take a deep breath for 4 seconds through your nose, noticing how your body feels as air floods your lungs and abdomen. Hold for 4 additional seconds. Release your breath for 4 seconds through your mouth, noticing how your body feels as the air escapes your belly and chest. Hold for 4 more seconds. Repeat this sequence 3 more times. Once you finish, take note of how you feel. Where are your shoulders? Do you feel dizzy? How does your neck feel? If you do feel dizzy, take a few moments with normal breaths to come back to baseline. Deep breaths help regulate our Autonomic Nervous System, which is a part of that fight-or-flight response so we often will experience calm after doing such an exercise.

About the Reviewer: Rachael Rathe

Rachael B. Rathe is an East Tennessee native with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology with a Minor in Child & Family Studies from The University of Tennessee Knoxville. She has worked in mental health since 2013 and in foster care/adoptions for a private provider agency since 2014. Rachael was inspired to work in the field after working with children and teens on a volunteer basis 2008 – 2013. Rachael’s ideal self-care day involves snuggling on a couch with her kitties (Tabitha, Fergus, and Rufus) while enjoying a good movie or book. She also enjoys galavanting around conventions concerning all things nerd and geekery.

Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its reviews nor this discussion packet to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds