Grade:

Transfiguring Adoption awarded this movie 3 Hoots out of 5 based on how useful it will be for a foster/adoptive family. [Learn more about our Hoot grading system here]

Movie Info:

Rating: TV-14
Genre: Science Fiction, Fantasy, Action-Adventure
Runtime: 42min
Studio: Marvel Studios

From the Cover of LOKI by Marvel Studios:

“In Marvel Studios’ ‘Loki,’ the mercurial villain Loki (Tom Hiddleston) resumes his role as the God of Mischief in a new series that takes places after the events of “Avengers: Endgame.” Kate Herron directs and Michael Waldron is head writer.”

S1:E3: Loki finds out The Variant’s plans, but he has his own that will forever alter both their destinies.

Transfiguring Adoption’s Overview:

Item: Loki – Lamentis (S1:E3)
Rating: 3
Author: Felecia Neil

Loki S1:E3 continues to unintentionally allude to emotional and life experiences of foster/adoptive youth as Loki secludes himself with The Variant on Lamentis-1, a moon in the midst of an apocalypse with it’s lower class citizens vying against discrimination for a chance at survival. The duo traverse the doomed world bickering to gather insights and gauge the nature of each other, ultimately yielding to reluctant cooperation in the interest of perseverance. Implanted in the thick of things, a seemingly mutual affinity begins to grow between these characters and a brief conversation ensues that touches upon implied vulnerabilities, personal qualities, and individual social histories that are facsimiles to those who have been exposed to trauma circumstances, the foster care system, or the adoption journey.

Although this assessment will remain openly fluid throughout the duration of the season, Loki appears best suited for viewing by those 13 and older. The content of S1:E3 shifts from intellectual to interpersonal as the audience is given a chance to take a breather from the stuffy confines of the TVA and explore the identity of The Variant. Caregivers should be wary of the mildly defeatist tone this episode takes as characters lament in the face of dismal odds and skim over provoking subject matters such as surviving in hiding, nondisclosure of adoption, hopelessness, and imminent danger.

** Spoilers Could Be Ahead **

How Is This Relevant To Adoption & Foster Care?

Loki is magical. And not just in the sense that he practices seidr (Norse magic) but also in the parallels that can be drawn between his character and foster/adoptive youth.

Intended by writers or not, Loki is a fully fledged member of the foster care and adoption communities (though he was kidnapped, I’d claim twice now, but that’s a topic for another time). Ever since Loki’s induction into the MCU, he has held a special place of relatability for our youth, particularly our teens. He serves as a role model who sends the message that regardless of how you have behaved, each of us are inherently worthy of redemption that is not contingent upon reaching a level of atonement equivalent to the depth of your mistakes. All that is required to effect change is making the choice to take the proper path. If Loki can do it, so can every child who has ever had to live with the shame of their own trauma influenced choices.

There are many similarities in Loki’s personality, behaviors, and shared experiences which can be unpacked and discussed with our children for the promotion of healing. Themes that can be derived from S1:E3 include identity, the significance of unconditional positive regard, trauma bonding, and needs for love and belonging.

Discussion Points:

LGBTQIA+
As Loki and Sylvie make small talk it is fleetingly acknowledged that both characters are bisexual! Director Kate Herron gives the LGBTQIA+ community another small victory in media representation and took to social media to confirm “…it was very important to me, and my goal, to acknowledge Loki was bisexual. It is a part of who he is and who I am too. I know this is a small step but I’m happy, and my heart is so full, to say that this is now Canon in the MCU.” This caliber of popular entertainment representation is long overdue and absolutely delightful to see. So many of our LGBTQIA+ youth struggle with their identities beyond that of their cisgender, heterosexual peers due to lack of acceptance and understanding in society. Normalizing diversity and representing it in media is one of many stepping stones needed as our society aspires to attain inclusivity.
Identity and Individuality
Ep.3 is full of nods to various aspects of identity as this duo is juxtaposed to reinforce the individuality of Sylvie as a Loki variant. The use of this literary device felt like Loki truly had broken reality for a foster care universe crossover event. It is a plight of youth in foster care to be treated with indistinction by the child welfare system and stigmatized by the general public. Combine that with trauma and youth may experience identity disturbances, develop personality disorders, or live out self-fulfilling prophecies. It is vital to the best interest of foster/adoptive children to encourage the traditions of their cultural identity, promote acceptance of their sexual identity, facilitate their religious identity, and help them explore their personal identity. As noted above, Loki briefly mentions his bisexuality in a conversation with Sylvie. Another way we see him embrace his identity is when he is singing in Old Asgardian and sharing his culture with the refugees on Lamentis-1. Loki recently learned that his homeland, people, and culture were all wiped out in Ragnarok so it’s more important than ever for him to keep these cultural traditions alive. This episode can be a great catalyst for conversations with your youth about the pieces of their identity that are important to them and how you as a caregiver can help them celebrate and honor those things that make them who they are.
Unconditional Positive Regard
This is a popular concept in psychology that basically boils down to “expressing empathy, support, and acceptance to someone regardless of what they say or do.” Most children receive this from their parents- they know that even if they make a mistake or do something wrong, their parents will still love and support them. However, when children experience abuse, neglect, or other trauma at the hands of their caregivers they learn to associate that their worthiness is dependent on behavior, and if they make a mistake or a poor decision then they believe they are no longer worthy of love. We know from previous Marvel films that Loki had a very tumultuous relationship with his father and his brother, and in both cases their love felt very conditional. However, in this episode we get to hear him talk about his relationship with his mother and we learn that she had unconditional positive regard for him. He explains that she always believed that he could do anything, be anything. This is a message our youth do not hear enough. It doesn’t matter where they come from, or what mistakes or challenging behavior they might have: They can be anything, they can do anything and our respect and regard for them does not change based on anything they do or say. In the world of trauma-informed care they talk about ‘protective factors’, which are the things a child has going for them that helps them get through trauma and gain resilience. Loki is lousy with resilience. This is likely due largely in part to the protective factor he had of his mother and her positive relationship with him. This can be a great time to start a conversation with youth about this concept and get their input on how you can best show your unconditional positive regard for them.
Love and Belonging
Loki has historically suffered from a lack of stable or healthy social connections, this hardship is compounded when he arrives at the TVA and discovers the demise of his family and homeland. Humans are social creatures that need healthy emotional attachments to meaningful interpersonal and societal relationships with other individuals who share commonalities. According to Maslow, humans exchange love, affection, and belonging to overcome loneliness, anxiety, and depression. These needs are fulfilled through friendships, sports teams, family relations, community organizations, religious groups, and school clubs, etc. However, the proclivity to take part in social activities is reliant upon trust, the security that enables people to truly expose themselves without fear of vulnerability. This presents quite the quandary for Loki, foster/adoptive youth, and others who have experienced trauma. Throughout this episode we see Loki and Sylvie ruminate about “what is love?” coming up with a number of answers though they aren’t fully satisfied with any of them. However, the ways in which they define this concept tell us a lot about their characters. Talk to youth about which of these definitions they identify with, or how they would describe love. This could offer great insight into their emotional state and beliefs.
Trauma Bonding
Throughout this episode Loki and Sylvie habitually go back and forth between their interest and annoyance with each other, becoming more amicable the longer they are together. Bonding is a biological and emotional process that makes people more important to each other over time. Unlike love, trust, or attraction, bonding is not something that can be lost. It is cumulative and grows with togetherness. The process of trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse that occurs when abusive behavior is confused for love and the unhealthy bond pacifies feelings about a preexisting life issue. Given the trauma history, behavior patterns, and vast amount of unmet needs afflicting both of these individuals, they are easily susceptible to falling into a toxic relationship. This can be a great opportunity to talk with the children in your care about how they view the relationship we see unfolding between these two and even discuss the differences between attachment/bonding and love.

Cautionary Points:

Violence and Death
Youth in care have already been exposed to a significant amount of violence by either witnessing it as an element of their environment or by being on the receiving end of it themselves. This series is no different than the majority of television shows of this viewer rating as it depicts physical violence, weapon violence, and violent acts against others up to and inclusive of murder. Though there is no gore and deaths are largely presented in a passive manner caution is advised. It is specifically noteworthy to S1:E3 that multiple TVA personnel are harmed in a fight with The Variant who also goes toe to toe with Loki.
Surviving in Hiding
Sylvie has been on the run, hiding in fear for her life from the TVA since she was a child. While there is a lot that can be unpacked there, and likely will be in future reviews as we learn more, this situation is worth flagging as a potential trigger now. As mentioned above, most foster/adoptive youth have experienced domestic violence in their lives, some of which have had to tag along with a care provider as they fled an abusive partner by bouncing between homelessness, shelters, and safe houses. Stressors associated with the risk, fear, and isolation from this type of situation will have profound detrimental effects to mental health, making this a concept to be aware of when viewing Ep. 3 with your child(ren).
Non-disclosure of Adoption
Loki is caught off guard when Sylvie states that she has always known about her adoption as he was much older when he learned about his own. Finding out that you are adopted late in life can produce feelings such as shock, abandonment, and grief as you mourn the perceived loss of connection to loved ones and reconcile what you thought you knew to be true with the implications of this new information.
Alcohol Consumption
After being directed to rest Loki retorts to Sylvie, “You relax your way, I’ll relax mine.” Some time later, Sylvie awakens to Loki causing a drunken disruption that has negative consequences. It is not uncommon for children who come into the foster care system to have had their lives marred by substance abuse. In these situations it is often the child who must contend with the consequences of adult actions, making the topics of substance usage and intoxication rather upsetting in comparison to the average viewer.
Impending Doom
Foster youth live life in a constant state of dread. Never knowing when the next life-threatening, tragic, upending, or disruptive event will present itself leaves youth feeling suffocated in helplessness. Being that the entirety of Ep. 3 is set on a world nearing destruction, anxiety levels will likely increase as youth draw parallels to feelings of their own world falling apart.

Discussion Guide:

Why do you think Loki is so polite?
Caregiver Note: Loki most certainly is gentlemanly for being the God of Mischief! He consistently says “please” or “thank you” while addressing women as “madam” and has become well known among fans for his use of “I beg your pardon.” This definitely attributes to his appeal despite his unsavory reputation because even though he may behave like a deviant, he’s a deviant with decorum! This characteristic really speaks to the fact that Loki does hold regard for others and recognizes the value in etiquette. At one point in the episode Loki states “Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile,” and he’s not wrong. Cogence can not be heard through anger, particularly for youth in foster care trying to advocate for themselves against an authority with complete control over their lives. Learning to clearly express indignation without giving an emotional outburst is a skill set rarely modeled for foster youth and Loki’s ability to respectfully communicate in measured language, even amid his sarcasm, presents a fantastic educational opportunity. It may sound trite but instilling manners is a basic way to ensure success, and not only in professional forums but in social settings as well. While Loki’s intent may sometimes differ from those of moral principle, good manners promote healthy relationships, aid in peer acceptance, and can encourage favorable responses to our efforts in the community.
Why is it so important to Sylvie that she stands apart from other Loki variants?
Caregiver Note: Loki and Sylvie share an abundance of identity traits. Just to name a few, both characters are bisexual, adopted, closer to their mother, hedonistic, have magical abilities, and a witty sense of humor. What is interesting to examine is the variations of these attributes. For example, Loki is sarcastic while Sylvie is droll, both are an intelligent kind of humor but come across differently. The whole of these variations in addition to their different life experiences is what makes each Variant their own individual and they deserve to be treated as such. This idea applies to foster/adoptive youth as well.
How do you think the media representation of Loki being bisexual can positively influence society?
Caregiver Note: During a meaningful moment of connection, Sylvie inquires about Loki’s love life, specifying that he is a prince and that there must be some potential princesses in his life, “or perhaps another prince.” Loki acknowledges, “A bit of both, I suspect the same as you.” This is an opportunity to educate your child(ren) on diversity and social injustice while encouraging them to promote acceptance. When peers discriminate, youth feel less comfortable and more stressed when interacting with the group. Often, they will decide to stop socializing and risk becoming isolated, especially if they don’t know anybody else who shares their experience. Isolation has a negative affect on mental health by increasing feelings of anxiety and depression. Youth suffering with rejection and struggling to understand their own gender and sexual identities are labeled as attention-seeking when they speak out about their struggles or report substance abuse, self-harm, or suicidal ideation. Media representation has the ability to substantially influence society’s knowledge and understanding of diversity. Just as inclusivity among peers increases wellbeing within the group, inclusivity in media representation does the same for society.
When Loki talks about his relationship with his mother we learned that she always believed in him and told him he could do anything, be anything. How do you think this relationship helped shape who Loki is today? How can I show you that I believe in you and always will?
Caregiver Note: As explained above, we learn that Frigga showed unconditional positive regard to Loki- she continued to believe in him, regardless of anything he said or did. This is likely one of the reasons Loki has as strong of a sense of self as he does. In trauma-informed care these are called ‘protective factors’- the positive things a child had going for them that helped them develop resilience and get through their trauma. Loki has confidence in his skills with magic, largely because his mother always reaffirmed that for him. This can also be a great time to talk to your child(ren) about how you can demonstrate that you have the same unconditional positive regard for them that Loki’s mom did. Every child is different- some may need to hear it in words, some may prefer it shown in other ways. But the important part is that you continue having these conversations and reassuring the child that no matter what they say or do, it will not change the way you feel about them. You may get angry or frustrated but that doesn’t change their value. You still support, respect, and accept them regardless of their behavior.
How do you think it made Loki feel after it was revealed that Sylvie had always been aware of her adoption when he didn’t find out about his until later in life?
Caregiver Note: We can see Loki’s surprise when Sylvie shares that her parents told her she is adopted. Looking back at the events in the movie Thor that took place not long before this variant of Loki was pulled from his timeline, we saw that the way in which Loki found out he was adopted diminished his self-worth, caused feelings of rejection, and strained his relationships. It has become a more widely understood notion in society that children should be told about their adoption early in life and that there should not be a defining moment of obtaining that information. In addition to the flood of negative emotions and inundation of questions that will need answering, late acquirement of this knowledge can shatter a person’s identity and affect their social connections due to labels, stereotypes, and individuals who will debase the significance of a adoptee’s familial status or relationships as “not real.”
How has Sylvie’s hypervigilance kept her safe? What is an example of a healthy application of this skill if Sylvie were to ever find safety and stability?
Caregiver Note: Hypervigilance is a “foster kid side effect” (see Ep. 2 review for details) that is unlikely to ever fully dissolve though can be redirected as a useful skill set in many career fields. The most prominent example of hypervigilance in this episode is when Sylvie attempts to rein in Loki by pointing out “I think somethings happening; I saw some people looking at you weirdly,” as he blows their cover while under the influence. He gaslights her with “When did you get to be so paranoid?” before she reminds him “Oh, I guess it must have started when I spent my entire life running from the omniscient fascists you work for.” This statement clues in audiences that Sylvie has been surviving in hiding since she was a child. Talking about this may offer insight into some of the ways your own child may have had to be hypervigilant to keep themselves safe and get them thinking about ways to positively utilize this skill set in their own life.
Why is it difficult for Loki to accept the consequences of his actions?
Caregiver Note: Loki is impulsive and reckless with little to no accountability. He fails to consider, or disregards, the consequences of his actions while his arrogance, pomposity, and privilege inhibit him from accepting how his choices affect others. In Ep. 3, Loki proceeds to become publicly intoxicated and foolishly draws attention to himself when they are trying to stowaway in plain sight. This results in the duo being thrown from a moving train after a scuffle with security and the destruction of the TemPad (their means of inter-dimensional travel and escape). This loss supposedly dooms them to die in the apocalypse of Lamentis-1 and the characters come into disagreement. On most occasions Loki is able to avoid dealing with the consequences of his actions however, in this situation he may be forced to face them while assessing the extent to which his actions are impacting someone besides himself. Acknowledging the fact that choices have consequences, both positive and negative, is demanding and can feel overwhelming. Learning to accept responsibility, seek help, salvage a situation, repair relationships, and refrain from repeating your mistakes are all serious aspects to negative consequences that can seem better off left avoided, along with the accompanying feeling of shame. Remind your child(ren) that it’s acceptable to make mistakes though important to correct and learn from them as well.
Why might the relationship dynamics forming between Loki and Sylvie be perceived as toxic?
Caregiver Note: Loki and Sylvie are drawn together by intrigue and curiosity though are at odds with one another as they clash over their own agendas. Their initial interactions are characterized by manipulation, power struggle, and physical violence before they are coerced by outside forces to call a truce. This respite from hostility provides occasion for Loki to garner an influential piece of information to new relationships, a name. Personal names link to identity, individuality, and social connections. They also seem to be a sore point for The Variant, who’s preferred name is Sylvie. Honoring someone’s chosen name communicates acceptance, respect, and validation, ideals Sylvie is unaccustomed to experiencing and that appear to make her more comfortable with Loki. The ups and downs continue from there as Loki’s mercurial nature meets Sylvie’s temper before they share another subtle sentiment and the cycle begins again. Trauma bonds arise from recurring, cyclical patterns of emotional and physical abuse that are perpetuated by intermittent periods of love and affection for positive reinforcement. Only time will tell if these two characters will be able to form a secure attachment or get looped into a cycle of toxicity. Talking about the positives and negatives of Sylvie and Loki’s relationship may offer insight regarding your own child’s views and history with relationships and allow you the opportunity to discuss the basis for forming positive ones in the future.
What indicators are there that the relationship between Loki and Sylvie might evolve into healthy fulfillment of their needs for love and belonging?
Caregiver Note: “Love is a dagger. It’s a weapon to be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It’s beautiful. Until it makes you bleed. But ultimately, when you reach for it… It isn’t real.” Imagine my predilection for Loki’s metaphor when I have long maintained that the need for love and belonging is a double-edged sword. On one side it is beautiful, offering strength and protection. On the other side, you must be careful not to injure yourself cutting through the thicket of a dark and dangerous path that it will lead you down in search of acceptance. The need to belong drives us to seek out stable, long-lasting relationships with other people. The challenge in doing so for most foster/adoptive youth is a lack of permanent connections and feeling like they don’t fit in among their families and peers while simultaneously navigating unhealthy attachment styles and trauma. Social isolation causes loneliness, despair, or even suicidal thoughts and intensifies the drive to meet emotional needs to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group, often leading foster youth to runaway behaviors, gang involvement, and human trafficking. From previous movies the audience can gather that Loki has had comparable experience with these concepts and their psychological effects, as has Sylvie. This has left both characters alone and nomadic with the belief that love is an illusionary weapon that can’t be trusted. Regardless, Loki has slight undertones of being a hopeless romantic and from his metaphor believes himself capable of reciprocating love if he were ever able to find something “real.” And by “real,” he means “healthy.” In many ways Loki and Sylvie are off to a good start as they bond and build rapport over topics of their mothers, adoptions, sexuality, and powers. As Ep. 3 progresses these characters explore commonalities, seem balanced in their differences, and have much to offer each other. We witness glimpses of mutual respect, concern for well-being, allowance of autonomy, and open communication over the establishment of trust. While it has yet to be seen if these actions are backed by honest or deceitful motives, the potential of this being a healthy relationship is worth rooting for!
How do you think Loki will feel when he realizes that he has left behind one of his daggers and his TVA jacket after being thrown from the train?
Caregiver Note: As discussed in Ep. 2’s review, object attachment contributes to an array of emotional and behavioral disturbances while simultaneously influencing self-identity and social bonding. Awareness of how your child(ren) may react to the sense of loss that accompanies the losing or misplacement of sentimental items can be insightful for caregivers and provide valuable information about how much support your child(ren) will need as they grow in their abilities to look after and be responsible for their own belongings.
How do you think Loki feels after realizing he might be trapped on this planet and he and/or Sylvie may not survive? How does this affect his actions?
Caregiver Note: Towards the end of the episode, Loki discovers that he has broken the Tem-Pad and has to face the realization that they no longer have an escape plan for getting off this planet before the apocalypse strikes. This leads to Loki and Sylvie making a mad dash for The Ark (an evacuation vessel), even though they know from history that the ship doesn’t survive. They run through the mob of citizens and crumbling city in a desperate attempt to escape, likely concerned for both their own safety and each other’s given the bond they have been developing. For youth who have experienced trauma, they have likely been in a situation where they weren’t sure if they were going to make it out alive. Talking about this scene and the way Loki might feel during such an event may be a safe way for them to talk about the fear and anxiety they also experienced in their own life.

About the Author: Felecia Neil

Felecia Neil is a foster care alumni who has 12 years of experience working within residential settings and has served as a foster parent for over 6 years. She is currently a much needed asset to the Transfiguring Adoption team where she reviews books and helps to assure the organization considers the perspective of foster youth.

**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.