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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) – Discussion Guide

Discussion Guide:

  1. Why does Diana miss Steve so much? Why hasn’t she tried another romantic relationship?
    Caregiver Note: Diana seems to have it all at the start of the film. She has a career where she is highly respected, she effortlessly fights crime to protect people in her community, and she looks amazing while doing all of the above. But, when she’s alone in her apartment it’s clear it’s a shrine to those she loves and has lost with pictures of her friends, her fellow soldiers, and her love Steve Trevor. It’s clear that Diana is still actively grieving for Steve even if she is not aware of it following his self-sacrifice in the War. Diana never had the chance to explore the relationship they could have had or even say good-bye so it’s understandable that she would still grieve deeply for these friends and especially Steve. Like Diana, kids who have endured trauma are grieving even when they don’t express it the way we would. It’s important for caregivers to be mindful of this and that grief can well up over and over until acceptance has been reached.
  2. When Diana had to relinquish her dream for Steve why did she react so emotionally?
    Caregiver Note: When Steve died initially Diana grieved for Steve and what they could have been together. And his sudden appearance gave them a chance for that future together. Diana said it herself, she sacrifices herself for others constantly so why can’t she have this one thing? Much like Diana, children who have endured trauma and have been in the child welfare system may repeatedly grieve when loss is made evident again. Every time a parent doesn’t call, a relative doesn’t make a visit, or the awareness that they won’t see their cat arises, our children grieve harder. Diana had a loving mother and mentor who taught her how to accept Truth and grieve, but our children have not all had those lessons so it is up to us as the caregiver to calmly and quietly accept our children’s pain, help them identify and sort it out, and move forward towards acceptance with our love and presence.
  3. How was Diana’s loss of Steve different this time from his death?
    Caregiver Note: Diana did not get a chance to say goodbye when Steve died. There was no preparation for the fact that Steve was going to die when he had to make the decision to sacrifice himself for the betterment of the world. Diana was faced with a similar dilemma, give up a future with Steve or allow the world to be lost. This time, Diana was able to really say goodbye and leave nothing unsaid. Wouldn’t our children love to have that same closure when they face the Truth of loss? For most of our kids though there won’t be a perfect goodbye. Caregivers can give the space for grief to come and go and allow a space safe for words of pain. When your child is grieving, we can think of Diana and the intense longing to leave nothing unsaid and have comfort and encouragement before entering back into battle.
  4. Why does Diana think the Truth is so important? Who taught her that?
    Caregiver Note: For Diana, Truth is an absolute value that is instilled in her at a young age by her mother and her mentor. Truth is a part of Diana’s identity and her culture. This is especially underlined in her use of the Lasso of Truth. The children in your home may have a similar relationship with Truth to Diana, but others may have a very different relationship with Truth because of their family of origin or because of values they learned to help in their survival. This question can help open up a discussion about how values are passed on through culture and family but how it is our own choice on how we act upon those values.
  5. Why are dreams so different from Truth?
    Caregiver Note: For Diana, having Steve back for a time was away to escape from pain and loneliness. It was a way to return not only back to what their relationship was but what it could have been. Much like Diana, many children struggle with accepting the truth because the truth can lead to heartbreak. Dreams may be what we want so desperately, but the Truth is what we have. “Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” won’t change that your parents are lost in the abyss of addiction or mental illness. It won’t take away the pain of losing your pets, friends, teachers, and extended family. And it doesn’t erase the pain already experienced or to come in the future as new depths of loss are acknowledged. Caregivers need to be prepared for every time the Truth shows itself and your child can no longer deny the existence of what has happened to them as they will very much need a bigger, stronger, wiser person to accept their pain and walk through it as a team.
  6. Have you had a time where your dreams were different from the Truth? What was that like?
    Caregiver Note: For children who have endured trauma, dreams can look very different from the Truth they are living and have no control over. They didn’t pick to be born into their family of origin, but they long for them. They didn’t choose to be in foster care or removed from the family of origin but the powers that be have determined they cannot remain safely in the only home they may have ever known. Children who have endured trauma and/or have experience with the child welfare system experience this pain daily, whether they show it or not. Allow your child to lead this part of the conversation. They may or may not have the words for these experiences but giving your child a change to practice using their voice and to connect feelings to their behavior is a wonderful practice in mindfulness.
  7. How can I help you when the Truth feels too big?
    Caregiver Note: This is another question that will need to be led by your child. Sometimes the best thing a caregiver can do for their child is to just listen. We want so much to love children that sometimes we prevent children from discussing or processing hard emotions because we hate to see them in pain. However, this will only delay your child from being able to achieve acceptance. Allow your child to discuss ways they can be comforted and shown love. Remember, words only communicate so much of what we are saying to one another. Think of tones and body language as well while allowing your child to form their voice.
  8. What does Diana have going for her at the start of the movie? What did she lose by accepting her wish for Steve to return to her?
    Caregiver Note: At the start of the movie Diana Prince appears to have it all. She’s a powerful woman who is highly respected in her field. She effortlessly wears a presence that quietly commands respect and acknowledgement the way many women (like Barbara/Cheetah) wish for on top of being absolutely gorgeous and kind. Though she finds fulfillment in her work and heroism, she longs very much for what could have been with Steve. However, by accepting her wish for Steve, she loses much of the power she had before and had gained since fighting in the war. This question will allow your youth to connect some of the subtlety with what exactly Diana gave up with her wish.
  9. How did Diana refusing to relinquish her wish affect her present and potential future? How was Barbara (Cheetah) affected by her refusal to relinquish her wish?
    Caregiver Note: Diana not only is stunted by her refusal to let go of Steve but is diminished. Diana slowly is losing her physical strength and connections with who she is because her identity is so embedded with Truth specifically. Barbara gains the respect and power she craved as a shy, insecure young woman but loses her humanity (her ethics, respect for others, and empathy) in exchange for this easy source of strength. She loses the very essence of herself and is completely transformed internally, as well as physically when she wishes further to become an apex predator. This will also help your youth connect some subtle points to the film that may be difficult to pick up on between the fights.
  10. How did letting go of the past and potential future with Steve allow Diana to grow? How did not letting go of her wish damage Barbara’s future?
    Caregiver Note: By acknowledging the Truth and embracing the grief of loss Diana was able to not only regain lost strength and power but was able to gain more! Diana is able to achieve flight by incorporating the beautiful lessons learned in the time she did have with Steve and become even more powerful and versatile in battle than ever before. She goes through a complete transformation and is able to fully utilize her armor and weapons to push through and rescue others. However, in Barbara’s case she became more and more lost in her desires until she lost herself entirely. This can open up a conversation of how avoiding grief and only acknowledging dreams will not only hurt more later but have lifelong implications to achieving and growth in the future.

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NOTE: Inclusion on these lists does not necessarily mean endorsement. Furthermore, with all our resources, we highly recommend you preview them first to determine if there are any trauma triggers that your child may not be ready to handle. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its reviews to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.

Written by
Rachael B. Rathe is an East Tennessee native with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology with a Minor in Child & Family Studies from The University of Tennessee Knoxville. She has worked in mental health since 2013 and in foster care/adoptions for a private provider agency since 2014. Rachael was inspired to work in the field after working with children and teens on a volunteer basis 2008 - 2013. Rachael's ideal self-care day involves snuggling on a couch with her kitties (Tabitha, Fergus, and Rufus) while enjoying a good movie or book. She also enjoys galivanting around conventions concerning all things nerd and geekery.

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