Follow

When Marnie Was There – Discussion

  1. Discussion Guide:

    1. Who was your favorite character in the movie? Why?
      Caregiver Note: This is meant to be an ice breaker. Though this movie ended on a positive note, it is filled with some heavy emotions. Children and youth may need a minute to focus on some positive aspects first before discussing potentially traumatic content.
    2. Who did you most relate to in the movie? Why?
      Caregiver Note: Most children and youth will probably relate to either Anna or Marnie, though some of the side characters may come up. Feel free to discuss if you related to any characters: child or adult. Practice being open and honest with your children and youth, and this will encourage them to engage as well.
    3. Why do you think Anna seems to get sick after talking to her teacher about her art work? What was happening when Anna got sick during other parts of the film?
      Caregiver Note: This is a great discussion point to discuss making mind and body connections. Humans experience physical symptoms in response to various levels of stress. However, children and youth have to be taught introspective skills to read these physical signs and connect them to their feelings. Give them an example of how you may experience stress. For example, when having this discussion with my daughter, we discussed getting butterflies in the tummy when excited and tummy aches when wanting to avoid something unpleasant. I also discussed getting headaches during testing when I was younger and having muscle tension as an adult when conflict arose at work.
    4.  ACTIVITY – Middle School Ages: Take some butcher paper and draw an outline of your child’s body. Have them use different colors and color/draw where on their bodies they “feel” emotions.
      Caregiver Note: This can be an activity for any age, but younger children benefit from a visual while discussing psychosomatic symptoms of stress and depression. High schoolers may prefer to color an outline on a regular-sized sheet without getting on the floor.
    5. Have you ever felt “different” because of being in foster care or being adopted? In what ways?
      Caregiver Note: Some children or youth will have various responses to this. Some may discuss having workers come to their school while others may discuss having more limitations to social activities than non-foster youth. While state/agency policies must be adhered to, it is important to listen to our children and youth and be mindful of ways we can reduce the impact of foster care on normalcy.
    6. How could Anna’s foster family have better helped support her while she explored her sense of identity?
      Caregiver Note: Some children and youth may need this question to be fleshed out. Responses can be concerning her foster parents or the relatives Anna spent the summer with. Some children may feel that the space Anna was given to process was needed while others may express wanting more connection due to how alone Anna feels. Children and youth may begin to speak to their own experiences and may feel more comfortable this way talking about how they would want to be supported during a hard time, which will help with communication and expectations in the future with your own family.
    7. Throughout the film Anna slowly made several friends outside of her relationship with Marnie. Some of these friends were younger, some older, and some were her peers. How could having relationships with people of different ages be a strength? Or a challenge?
      Caregiver Note: Foster children and youth lose every protective and supportive relationship when brought into care: pets, neighborhood friends, aunties/uncles, clubs, youth group leaders, school mates, teachers, and sometimes even siblings. Foster youth especially need connections of all sorts while in foster care to become successful young adults. Though several state/federal/private agencies offer extension of foster care services, when a youth ages out of foster care participation in such programs are not compulsory. Foster youth benefit from having trusted adults (in addition to peers) in their lives to help them process life decisions without having all supports tied to the welfare system. These supports can (of course) include their foster parents, but just as foster and adoptive parents need a strong support system outside of the child welfare system, so do foster youth.
    8. Activity: Treasure Map of Resources. Take a piece of paper and draw a small circle, a larger circle around that, and then separate small circles surrounding the center circles. Have the child or youth write their name in the very center. Have the child or youth assign all supportive persons in their household (including pets) in the center with the child’s name. Then have other supportive people listed in the bigger circle around the smaller group. After this have the child or youth list supports, clubs, churches, sports, etc. that help them in the smaller circles on the outside. Help your child or youth determine how strong/weak these outer supports are in helping them succeed.
      Caregiver Note: This is a great activity to help children or youth visualize their current supports whether they be physical, emotional, financial, etc. By helping attach strengths too and showing how they orbit the child or youth, they can better identify supports that may be needed or need to be strengthened.
    9. How can I help you expand your circle? How can I help you feel like a part of your circle?Caregiver Note: Like Anna, many youth may feel like they are excluded from a circle and not realize they are the center. Having a frank conversation on how you can help your child integrate in your family and in other supportive circles may bring about solutions not explored before. The aim regardless is to find connection so that the child or youth does not feel alone and has a place to run to in times of stress.
    10. Are there any questions you have for me as your foster parent relating to foster care?
      Caregiver Note: This question can open the door to discuss any topics the child or youth may be afraid to discuss. It’s important to be open and honest while still being mindful of the child’s developmental state. If you have questions about what is appropriate to discuss concerning stipends, safety plans, state/federal policies, etc., you may want to discuss them with your state/federal/private agency worker first. However, children or youth tend to fill in gaps of information with their imaginations, much like how Anna assumed her foster parents were caring for her for monetary gain when discovering her foster parents receive a stipend for her care.

[Donate to this Project]


Buy From Our Links and Support Transfiguring Adoption:


 

Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.


Written by
Rachael B. Rathe is an East Tennessee native with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology with a Minor in Child & Family Studies from The University of Tennessee Knoxville. She has worked in mental health since 2013 and in foster care/adoptions for a private provider agency since 2014. Rachael was inspired to work in the field after working with children and teens on a volunteer basis 2008 - 2013. Rachael's ideal self-care day involves snuggling on a couch with her kitties (Tabitha, Fergus, and Rufus) while enjoying a good movie or book. She also enjoys galivanting around conventions concerning all things nerd and geekery.

Have your say!

0 0

Lost Password

Please enter your username or email address. You will receive a link to create a new password via email.