Discussion Guide:

1. Why do you think the Croods felt so out of place in the Betterman’s house? What made it hard for them to fit in?
   Caregiver Note: This is an opening question to help your child start to think about this theme in the movie. It is pretty clear upon arrival that the Croods will struggle with the orderly Bettermans. Upon finding food they tear into the food with great vigor and make quite a mess in their excitement. The Bettermans don’t realize in this case that the Croods have experienced intense hunger and having plenty is not normal for them. Due to struggling with extraordinary circumstances of hunger and having to fight for food their behaviors appear bizarre in a place with no predators and plenty of food. Some of the Croods, such as Grug, struggle with the lack of closeness developed in the sleep pile due to having space to spread out. Thunk grows glued to the window (aka – a primitive television) without having learned impulse control and boundaries for such things. And then there are several spaces where Guy is discovering inventions such as toilets. In the same manner, each of these conflicts show how the Croods’ behaviors that were developed in the wild are out of place in the current place and are difficult to modify overnight. 
2. Has there ever been a time where you felt like the Croods and felt like it was hard to fit in?
   Caregiver Note: This is the caregiver’s opportunity to help the child connect behaviors to their feelings. Just as Grug is unfamiliar with loneliness until he experiences it piled under furniture while missing his sleep pile with family, many children will be unfamiliar with feelings they may be experiencing due to greater awareness due to being away from home or family of origin. Give your child the space to lead this part of the conversation. It takes lots of time to develop trust especially with a child who is new to your home so if a child is too uncomfortable with a subject it’s okay to lead elsewhere. 
3. When there are times it feels like it’s hard to tell me what you think or feel, how can I help you? How can we work together as a team to learn about each other like Eep and Dawn?
   Caregiver Note: This is another opportunity to allow your child to practice some language development and emotional intelligence by finding words to connect feelings to behavior and help communicate their needs with you. Again, keep this low pressure and feel free to help your child find good words. Coming together to find compromises is a wonderful space for you and your child to bond and develop trust. 
4. Activity: Banana Boats in Tomorrow
   Caregiver Note: While talking to your child it is best to do something hands on to keep your kiddo focused and more comfortable with talking. If your kiddo loves bananas as much as the Croods then they are going to love this wild twist on a smore! For this try to have a campfire or bonfire available. If not an oven will do in a pinch. This will take a few minutes to prep and shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes to do.
   Cut some pieces of foil big enough to wrap your bananas. Then take your bananas and make a deep, lengthwise cut along the inside curve of the bananas. Make sure to not cut all the way through. Open the slit to form a pocket. Then fill each banana with chocolate chips, mini marshmallows, and some crunched up graham crackers or cereal. Wrap each banana in the foil and using togs set each foiled banana in the coals of your fire and cook 8-10 minutes. Then carefully remove from the file and peel back the foil to enjoy a tasty treat together! Thank you Betty Crocker for this yummy idea! 
5. How did Guy fit in with the Croods? How did Guy fit in with the Bettermans when they found them?
   Caregiver Note: Guy very much loved the Croods but struggled with parts of being with the pack such as lacking privacy or eating certain foods. And while Guy at first seemed to fit in really well with the familiarity of the Bettermans and their luxurious innovations, Guys still very much loved Eep and the things that made her and her family so unique. Over time Guy was able to learn that the “Betterman way” was not necessarily the better way as it lacked the significant relationships he had built with each member of the Crood family. This may take a child some time to connect so feel free to help them come around by using examples such as how Guy disliked the sleep pile but liked the closeness with the Croods and Eep, or how the Bettermans had a beautiful, safe home with lots of inventions but didn’t feel the deep connection he had especially with Eep after spending so much time together. 
6. Even though the Croods and Bettermans were very different, how was Guy able to still love both of the families?
   Caregiver Note: This is a concept that will be difficult for a younger child to really connect but an older child may be able to identify how Guy was able to accept loving the Bettermans, representing his family of origin and friends, and the Croods, his found family, to make a greater version of himself to share “Tomorrow” with Eep, who he realizes truly is his “Tomorrow”. While Guy cannot go back to the past and change what happened to his parents or change how the Croods are, Guy realizes that all of these people and experiences have significant places in his heart and identity and he can love them all equally as a part of himself and the person he is becoming. 
7. Why did Eep not seem to mind scars on her arms and legs so much but was so hurt when Guy insinuated she was a “cave girl”?
   Caregiver Note: Every child from the child welfare system will respond to trauma differently. Some kids are naturally more resilient or had some parental support in their younger years that better enabled them to roll with the punches like Eep does out in the wilder areas of the world. Some kids are like Dawn in that they may not have the natural resilience or experience to handle being so rough and tough. However, they also each respond to verbal and emotional hurts very differently, seen in Dawn’s friendliness and willingness to look past insults and Eeps recoil when insinuated to be a “cavegirl” or to not fit in. And in many cases though a physical wound may hurt it has a faster healing rate than how words can scar a child’s soul. For this reason it’s very important for caregivers to be mindful of how they speak to their children or talk to them. Under other circumstances Eep may not have cared about being called a “cave girl”, but in such an angry tone from someone she very much loves this cut her very deeply and understandably so. 
8. Why did it hurt Eep more when Guy failed to defend her than when the Bettermans acted snooty?
   Caregiver Note: The key to Eep recoiling so much in response to Guy’s comments compared to those of the overtly snarky Bettermans was the relationship. Eep doesn’t care so much about what some strangers think compared to someone she loves and trusts and has taken a significant amount of time to develop a relationship with. In the same way, children in your home will be most wounded by those they love the most. They may still complain of injustices served by peers and strangers and need your support, but a fight with a family of origin or even you may cut so much deeper without meaning to. 
9. Have there been times where words hurt more than scratches or bumps for you?
   Caregiver Note: This is your child’s opportunity to practice using their voice. Please remember, dear caregiver, if a child brings up something that has occurred between you two please do not immediately push this aside or make excuses. When developing a relationship with your child you want them to use their words and speak up when they are feeling hurt and to develop that trust. It’s easy to get defensive so remember that this does not mean you are a horrible caregiver or parent. There is no such thing as perfect parenting but taking the chance to learn better communication with our kids is certainly a wonderful place to start in improvement. Remember to try to speak less and speak slowly if you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed. Remember too that a child being honest about their feelings is a huge step in how much they trust you to be a bigger, stronger, wiser parent and to create the dynamic of you and the child against the problem and not the two of you against one another.
   
10. Activity: Thunder Sisters and Banana Bros!
    Caregiver Note: Alright, it’s time to come up with Thunder Sister and Banana Bros. names and superpowers! Work with your child to come up with names, a costume design (sans the Gran bikini of course), and a unique quality that makes them an important part of your family. Help your child think of different unique strengths that your family would not have known without them and encourage exploration of their own identities with this fun activity. This can be as artsy or crafty as you feel comfortable. You can use paper and pencils/markers, make a costume out of some felt or construction paper, or even use clay or playdough to make these cool super identities!

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NOTE: Inclusion on these lists does not necessarily mean endorsement. Furthermore, with all our resources, we highly recommend you preview them first to determine if there are any trauma triggers that your child may not be ready to handle. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its reviews to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.