Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Discussion Guide:

1. Why does Rey keep returning to the story of her parents? If she doesn’t really remember them why does she keep trying to connect to them and remember?
   Caregiver Note: Children will always long for their family of origin and wish to find a connection in identity. If you think to Rey’s scene with the Celebration of Ancestors you can see her struggle in not even having a familial name, a connection or bond with a people group. While Rey very much loves and values her found family (i.e. – Leia, Finn, Poe, BB-8, Chewbacca, etc.) there is still an entire part of her life she cannot explain and feels she is missing. Your teen may also bring up reasons why they long for their own family and relate to Rey.
2. Even though Kylo Ren continued to insist he didn’t wish to reunite with his family it turns out he didn’t think he could. What did he mean when he said to Rey, “You can’t go back like I can’t, the Dark Side is in our nature, give into it!”?
   Caregiver Note: In Kylo Ren/Ben Solo’s case, he knows exactly where his family is physically but is experiencing a huge emotional schism from his family. In the previous installment we discovered that Luke also had a hand in this separation, but even after his father (Han Solo) tried to reach out Kylo Ren responded in violence. Kylo Ren is expressing here that he has gone to far for redemption and his mother’s love and is avoiding what he believes will be rejection from his mother, Leia. However, Leia still very much loves her son and in her dying act made sure to express this to Kylo Ren as he began to transition back into the identify of Ben Solo.
3. Who does Rey develop a parental bond with during the film? What about these relationships draws Rey in?
   
   Caregiver Note: This can refer to a few different characters but especially for Luke (who mentored Rey and provided affirmation as well as boundaries and tough love) and Leia (who provided verbal affirmation and lots of affection in addition to the training and care). Discuss with your teen all the positive aspects these supports provide and any others they may have noticed.
4.  How can I communicate to you how much I love you when you may feel like Ben Solo? How can I help you remember that you are not Kylo Ren when things are overwhelming?
   
   Caregiver Note: It’s easy to forget that we all communicate and receive love and affection differently (which is why books on love languages and personality typing sell like hot cakes), but this is something that teens from foster and adoptive homes may struggle to express. Like several characters in the film, our foster and adoptive youth have lived in situations very different from our own and have learned their own unique language to express needs, and this includes the very human need for comfort and care. Our youth have not had the chance to grow up in homes with unconditional and consistent care and may not receive what we believe is comfort and care in moments of great distress. This can be a great discussion to help with this area. Asking this directly may be difficult as well, if so feel free to ask how perhaps Kylo Ren/Ben Solo could have had better communication from the adults in his life about how much they loved and cared for him not matter what happened.
5. Activity:
   Discover You and Your Teen’s Communication StylesCaregiver Note: Teenagers may turn up their noses to most activities, but sometimes something like a quiz can open up the door to a lot of communication and even laughter as pieces are discovered. I’d recommend perhaps starting with a simple quiz relating to the 5 Love Languages, but if you have a teen that really gets curious about personality and motivations too many have found the Enneagram to be a helpful way to break down complex thoughts. I have a friend that told me once after her mother learned about the Enneagram she looked up each of her children’s Enneagram number and began to act on ways suggested to express love and care to each child individually. My friend was extremely touched by her mother’s desire to express her love uniquely to each of them and this created a great dialogue and support for them.
6. Why was Kylo Ren so haunted by Darth Vader’s legacy? Why was Rey so affected by discovering she was the granddaughter of Emperor Palpatine?
   Caregiver Note: Have you ever been told you have your mother’s temper? Or hearing your father’s voice in a moment of despair or frustration… out of your own mouth? Though we may announce that we will not be like our parents, we often retreat to familiarity in distress even when it is not the most beneficial move. Trauma that is not transformed is transferred, as we see in both the Skywalker and Palpatine families. Though Luke, Leia, and Han survived the war they each struggled with the traumas of their experiences or pasts. Luke attempted to harm his nephew in response to fear (which leads to anger, leads to hate, and then to suffering according to the wise philosopher known as Yoda) and Han checks out of his family in response to his own demons, which affects the young Ben Solo and leads him to seek affirmation in the infamous Darth Vader. Emperor Palpatine is consumed in his lust for power, even having his own son and granddaughter in his quest to maintain his power. In this way, one generation influences the next and in a very negative cycle. This results in the dyad Kylo Ren refers to, as Ben and Rey are each the grandchildren of Dark legacies.
7. Why was Rey tempted by the Dark Side? Why was it so hard for Ben Solo to let go of Kylo Ren?
   Caregiver Note: Something the Skywalkers have struggled with since the days of Anakin Skywalker is finding balance. This is in part due to the burden of the prophecy of the Chosen one providing a significant amount of pressure to restore balance to the Force but also due to the intense suppression of negative emotions. While it is true that being ruled by Fear and Anger is not a great choice, these are emotions that still need to be validated to work through them and then restore balance to the inner self. Because the Skywalkers tend to swing from one extreme to another, change is very difficult and dramatic. In the same way, our teens often struggle with finding their own balance even without the unique challenges and traumas from foster and adoptive experiences. Caregivers should take this as an opportunity to listen for a teen’s own struggle with this balance and reinforce that it is okay to feel anger and fear and they are safe to express such feelings toward you. Intense emotions can be overwhelming if kept secret and alone, but when reminded that we are not alone in these emotions and reinforcements are ready at the call for back up that can break the bondage of these emotions.
8. Why did Kylo Ren throw his red lightsaber into the ocean and finally stop recreating the helmet? Why did he resume being called “Ben”?
   Caregiver Note: Ben finally reveals the self that has been visible through the both figurative and literal cracks in his helmet for some time following Leia’s Force message. Upon releasing the fear of rejection (which, of course, led to anger, hate and suffering) that had been driving Kylo Ren for so long Ben was able to finally emerge and step into his part of restoring balance to the Force. This was finally represented once Ben chose to transfer his own life force to Rey (much like Rey did for the injured snake and to Ben after their lightsaber battle) to bring healing rather than pain to another. By reclaiming his name and shedding the symbols of fear and hate of the Sith, Ben is showing visible signs of transforming his trauma and ceasing the transfer of the trauma passed on since the time of Darth Vader (who also has his helmet effigy finally destroyed as well).
9. Why did Rey bury the two Skywalkder lightsabers on Tatooine? Why did Rey identify herself as Rey Skywalker?
   Caregiver Note: Sometimes transformation looks more like this than that of Ben Solo, especially for our adopted teens. There are times where familial trauma is so intense that perhaps a child is open to changing their name in part or entirely during the course of adoption to help in the processing away from a past identity filled with pain, loneliness, and suffering. These transformations may also manifest in change in clothing (which Rey has undergone throughout the trilogy), a change in hairstyle/color, or even in what media someone engages in (i.e. – music, books, etc.). This can be another great illustration to help your teen express if they are experimenting with their identity. Identity building is very normal for teens as a part of development but can be scary for caregivers, especially if change appears drastic. Keeping an open line of communication and keeping an open mind about some things can make a world of a difference.
10. Activity: Future Lightsaber Color
    Caregiver Note: Talk to your teen about Rey’s new lightsaber. In the past (in the movies at least) Jedi are usually identified as having Blue or Green lightsabers while Sith carry Red or Black. Each are unique in their hilt designs as well upon close inspection. In the extended universe of the franchise, each wielder actually picked the elements/crystals that create the light and the color is usually influenced by the wielder’s choice of crystal, personality, and level of influence with the dark side of the force (this is how Mace Windu could have a purple light saber in the prequel films, though in reality Samuel L. Jackson chose the specific color). Rey’s yellow light saber indicates not only her divergence to a new path (as the hilt appears to be fashioned from her trusted staff rather than a traditional hilt) but also her place in balance of the force (as yellow in some series have indicated the school of Jedi thought in balanced mastery of knowledge and combat skills). Talk about what color and how their lightsaber would look now versus what they want it to look like upon mastery. Feel free to break out paper and coloring tools to show this, though I wouldn’t push it if your teen is more comfortable describing a lightsaber. Take this as an opportunity to hear your teen’s dreams and ask how you can help them transform their lightsaber in the future.

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About the Author: Rachael Rathe

Rachael B. Rathe is an East Tennessee native with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology with a Minor in Child & Family Studies from The University of Tennessee Knoxville. She has worked in mental health since 2013 and in foster care/adoptions for a private provider agency since 2014. Rachael was inspired to work in the field after working with children and teens on a volunteer basis 2008 – 2013. Rachael’s ideal self-care day involves snuggling on a couch with her kitties (Tabitha, Fergus, and Rufus) while enjoying a good movie or book. She also enjoys galavanting around conventions concerning all things nerd and geekery.

**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.