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Soul (2020) – Discussion Guide

Discussion Guide:

  1. When Joe is offered a full-time teaching position everyone around him is excited and expects him to be too, but he isn’t. Why? Have you ever been in a situation where everyone expected you to feel a certain way about something, but you felt differently?
    Caregiver Note: Joe has been teaching band as a way to make a little money on the side, but his real dream is to play in a band of his own. He feels that if he accepts a full-time job he will be ‘settling’. So what seems like a great offer on the surface is actually something that upsets him because it makes him feel like he has to give up on his passion. Children from trauma may have experienced similar emotional disconnects, sometimes memories of traumatic experiences are triggered by unexpected things: certain music, a holiday, and smell or gift that reminds them of someone or something. Because of this there might be a disconnect between the expected reaction to an activity or new and what the child actually experiences. For example, you bake them a cake for their birthday and instead of it making them feel special and celebrated, it makes them sad or angry because the smell reminds them of their last birthday which wasn’t so happy. This can also be an opportunity to discuss the difference between Joe’s words and his affect. He said ‘that’s great’ but we see his body droop and his eyes sadden and it’s clear that he doesn’t really feel that way. Children could benefit from a discussion of the importance of sharing their actual feelings (in an appropriate way), as opposed to pretending to feel the way others expect them to.
  2. Joe gets an offer to play on stage with one of his favorite musicians, a dream come true. Between the rehearsal and the performance, however, he has an accident and gets transported to ‘The Great Beyond’ instead. How do you think he feels finally getting what he’s always wanted and then having it taken away?
    Caregiver Note: Joe has spent many, many years working towards achieving his goal and he finally accomplishes it! He is on his way to ‘living the dream’ and feels incredibly excited and ‘on top of the world’. He’s probably also proud that his hard work has paid off and thankful to those who helped him. These are a lot of emotions, and before he even had time to really process all of them, he falls into the hold and is told that he’s dead and cannot return to Earth. He spends a long portion of the film in denial, refusing to accept his new reality and desperate to get back to where he’d been. He also goes through several other stages of the grieving process including anger and depression until he’s finally able to accept his fate. We all experience disappointment, wanting something so badly only to have it not work out. Talk with kids about the appropriate ways to handle big disappointments, and how, while Joe’s feelings are understandable, he does not handle his disappointment appropriately and ends up hurting others (like when he steals 22’s Earth Pass).
  3. Joe arrives in The Great Before and is panicky and doesn’t understand the way things work in the new, strange place. He’s desperate to get back to his old, familiar home of Earth. Have you ever felt like this? How can I help you feel less anxious in new situations?
    Caregiver Note: Much like Joe, who is suddenly ripped from his life on Earth, many children who are in foster care find themselves suddenly removed from their biological family without much warning or even explanation sometimes. They are then placed in foster families where the surroundings and way things work are often very different. They are likely desperate to return home to where things are familiar and understood. For some children this may happen multiple times if they move foster homes a lot. It’s important to talk with them about ways to help them feel safe and comfortable in your home, especially if they are new to the placement. This can be a great time to talk about these feelings as seen in Joe and how those around him help with the transition. The way your children answer this question may give you insight into what type of support would be most helpful to them during transitions or new situations.
  4. What do you think your spark is? How can I help you find it?
    Caregiver Note: Early on in the movie the characters believe that their ‘spark’ refers to their purpose in life. By the end of the movie, however, it is revealed that a spark is actually a person’s passion, the thing that makes them excited about life. Some children may already have a clear idea about this (though as we adults know- this is liable to change many times throughout their lives!) But for children who have experienced a lot of childhood trauma, they may have been so focused on surviving that they didn’t have the time or energy for exploring what types of things bring them joy. So talk about the different ways the mentors in the film help new souls find sparks (sharing their own life/passions, helping them try out new things) and discuss how you might best serve as a mentor to them on this journey. Then… comes the fun part! Find opportunities to explore and try new things together (sports, arts, clubs, and activities, exploring nature, trying new movies/books/music, etc.).
  5. Activity: Creating an Earth Badge
    Caregiver Note: In the movie all of the new souls have a round badge with symbols on it. This is their ‘earth badge’ and includes the different aspects of their personality. With your children, draw a circle and then surround that circle with smaller circles on a piece of paper. In each of the smaller circles, instruct children to draw the different aspects of their personality, this could be things they like or are good at. A picture/representation of their whole self (photographed or drawn) can go in the middle circle. When everyone is finished take time to talk about why they chose what they did and share your own as well.
  6. At one point 22 says, “I use this voice because it annoys people”. Why do you think 22 would purposely WANT to be annoying?
    Caregiver Note: Throughout 22’s time in The Great Before, people have repeatedly told them that they’re annoying. This has happened so often that 22 has taken on this as their identity. It can also be seen as a way to push people away. Mentors are supposed to be a positive figure in a new soul’s life, helping them find their passion and get to Earth. They get frustrated when they aren’t able to succeed in helping 22 with this and take that frustration out on them: yelling and calling 22 names, saying they’re annoying, and they hate them. After so much of this 22 has decided that they want to purposely annoy mentors, because that gives them the control. It hurts less if they know they are purposely driving others way, instead of waiting for others to leave on their own. In a similar way, children who have experienced abuse and trauma at the hands of caregivers often build up their own walls. They may believe that if they don’t let anyone get close to them and act out and push others away that they will get hurt less. Talking about 22 may help give them (and you) some insight into their own similar behaviors.
  7. For a while 22 inhabits Joe’s body and experiences things in a different way than Joe has, even though they are the same things he’s done many times before. What’s different about 22 doing these things? How does watching 22 have these experiences affect Joe?
    Caregiver Note: When you do the same things every day, sometimes it’s like you turn on autopilot and are going through the motions without really being present. We’ve all had those moments where we’re in the car driving to work and then we’ve arrived and don’t remember anything about the trip to get there. Because we take the same route, we do every day and out autopilot kicked in. However, when you drive somewhere for the first time (or if you can think back to the very first few times you ever drove) you pay attention in a different way because everything is new and exciting and scary and you’re trying to process it all. This is what it’s like for 22 when they end up in Joe’s body. They’ve never really walked around before in this way, never eaten pizza, never seen New York City or felt the wind on their face. They’re experiencing all these sensations and activities for the first time, so they notice different things than someone who has done those things every day for years. Because of this, 22 is able to make connections with people who have been in Joe’s life for a long time but whom he’s never really taken the time to get to know. As Joe watches all of this unfold, he has a renewed excitement about small things in life and an appreciation for all he has. A lot of times when children come into foster care there might be a lot of new experiences, things we’ve taken for granted: a new type of food, going to a museum or the beach, eating out at a restaurant.  This might also be a good time to have a conversation about new experiences they’ve had recently or even things they might like to try or see and make a plan to do some together.
  8. 22 has always said they didn’t really want to go to Earth, but towards the end of the movie we learn this isn’t necessarily the case. What’s the real problem? Have you ever had a similar experience?
    Caregiver Note: It turns out there are several reasons that 22 doesn’t want to go to Earth, but the biggest one stems from anxiety. All new souls are supposed to find their ‘spark’ which is what allows them to go to Earth. 22 has never been successful at this and they worry that there is something wrong with them. They also worry that maybe they’ll ‘choose wrong’ and end up with a spark that doesn’t accurately reflect their passion. They believe they’ll be bad at being on Earth and think maybe it’s better not to go at all than to go and make a mistake. So they convince themselves that they don’t want to go to Earth after all. This is likely a sentiment children can relate to. It is common that when there is something we can’t have that we, too, convince ourselves that we ‘didn’t really want it anyway’ because that hurts less than accepting the truth. Saying we don’t want to do something is also easier than admitting we’re afraid. Talk with kids about if there have been times they’ve not tried something they wanted to because they were anxious about it and try to develop a strategy for how to help them overcome this if it comes up in the future.
  9. How does 22 become a ‘Lost Soul’? What brings them back? How can I help you when you’re feeling ‘lost’?
    Caregiver Note: 22 has long harbored feelings of self-doubt and anxiety about being worthless, especially having been told this many times by their mentors. They finally get a mentor that they seem to connect with: Joe. However, in the end Joe betrays them and is only using them as a way to get himself back to Earth. This is the final straw for 22 and they join the lost souls, fixated on the fact that they’re not good enough. Eventually, Joe sees the errors of his ways and comes back to apologize. He finds 22 and is able to break through their inner dialogue of worthlessness and convinces them that he was wrong, that they do have a spark and encourages them to go to Earth. They finally do, with Joe walking side-by-side with them. This is a great parallel to how sometimes our kids aren’t able to get out of their feelings and worries on their own and need us as their caregivers to walk with them side-by-side. This might look different for every kid, so it’s a good time to have a conversation about what might help them the most when they’re feeling lost, whether that’s talking with you, having a safe space to be alone and process, writing or drawing, or something else entirely. The important part is for both you and them to figure out what works best and to have a plan to put those things in place when needed.
  10. Did you like the music in the movie? Did you know anything about jazz music before watching it?
    Caregiver Note: A large part of the move centers around the idea of jazz music and Joe’s passion for both playing and listening to it, but it isn’t necessarily a genre of music kids are regularly exposed to and is likely pretty different than the music they do like to listen to. Take the time to learn about the history of jazz and listen to some together, whether at home or even going to a live performance. One of the hallmarks of jazz is also its emphasis on improvisation. Not knowing what’s coming next can be scary, and a big source of anxiety, especially for children who have experienced trauma. Because of this they can have difficulty with things like a sudden change in schedule or deviation from established ‘rules’.  However, we all know that there will be times where a change in a plan or rule will be necessary. Engaging in improvisation within music or imaginative play can be a great way to help children practice flexibility and uncertainty in a safe way. That way when uncertainty comes up in a real-world situation, children will have experiences to look back on where the unexpected and unplanned was positive and fun, rather than only a source of stress and fear

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About the Author: Jenn Ehlers.

Jenn is a central Virginia native who received her BA in Psychology from the University of Virginia in 2012. Since then she has worked for a local mental health agency and the Department of Social Services in various capacities and has been involved in her community’s efforts to create a Trauma Informed Network. Currently Jenn works in vocational rehab and mentors youth in foster care. When she isn’t working, Jenn enjoys writing stories, anything and everything Harry Potter, and spending time with her niece and nephew.


**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.


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Jenn is a central Virginia native who received her BA in Psychology from the University of Virginia in 2012. Since then she has worked for a local mental health agency and the Department of Social Services in various capacities and has been involved in her community’s efforts to create a Trauma Informed Network. Currently Jenn works in vocational rehab and mentors youth in foster care. When she isn’t working, Jenn enjoys writing stories, visiting the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and spending time with her nieces and nephew.

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