Discussion Guide
- Maleficent as a mom
- Why do you think Maleficent became motherly towards Aurora?
- Why do you think Aurora accepted her as her mother knowing that her biological mother was someone else?
- Who do you view as family?Talking with our kiddos about their view of parental figures and who they consider family might seem a bit weird at first, because of course you are their family. However most of our children have had multiple sets of parents due to living at various foster homes. Normalizing the conversation of them feeling familial to other individuals helps create a feeling of security with your child that you accept all of the people that cared for them along the way to your home.
- Stepping outside of comfort zone
- Has there ever been a time you tried to make a good impression and it went wrong?
- Have you ever felt that you needed to hide something about yourself to be accepted?These questions aim to help you identify where your child feels inadequate and provides an open door to talk about all of their strengths. Going outside your comfort zone is important to development new strengths, and this will give you an opportunity to help identify how you can provide support when your child feels out of place.
- Holding onto grudges
- Do you think the queen would have felt the same way towards the fairies if her brother had not been killed?
- What things are you holding onto that could impact the way you treat people in the future?It is no surprise that most of our children have experienced some bad things in their lives at the hands of people who were supposed to love and protect them. Although we know that they are now in a safe home, they may still be carrying anger and resentment about the previous experiences they had. These feelings can resurface at various points in their life so it is important that they are able to process their feelings in regard to their maltreatment.
Fun activities:
- Create a lifebook
If your child does not have a lifebook, now might be a great time to start one. Try to include as much information about their life pre-adoption and post adoption if possible. Creating one does not have to be difficult as many craft stores sell scrap-booking kits. When putting it together, talk about the stories behind the photographs and the memories being recorded. Let your child put some of their memories down as well, such as a great basketball game they played or their first sleepover. They will love looking back on it when they are older. - Create a family tree
Most family trees consist of immediate family members in the household. However, there may be people your child considers family who would not typically be located on a family tree. You can go to the dollar store, buy a large poster board, and draw a tree. On the tree, put pictures and names of people your child considers family. This could include their old advocate from foster care, a previous foster mother who acts as a grandmother now, or a close friend at school who is like a sibling.
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ABOUT THE REVIEWER, PATTIE MOORE:
Pattie lives in Tampa, FL, and she spends most of her time working with adoptive and foster families through case management, psychiatry services, and therapy services. Pattie received her bachelor’s in psychology from Saint Leo University and her master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy from Argosy University. Pattie has been certified as an adoption competent provider through Rutgers University. Pattie has also participated in the Infant Mental Health certification program through University of South Florida, and is currently working on her CPP (child parent psychotherapy) certification. Pattie is also a current Guardian Ad Litem for Hillsborough County that specializes in working with teen girls in human trafficking. When Pattie isn’t working, you can find her at Universal and Disney with her husband and friends.
**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.
