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Review

Hayden & Her Family (2020) – Comprehensive Review

Transfiguring Adoption’s Overview:

The target audience appears to be more geared towards adults who would like more information and perspective about international adoptions with special needs children, but older teens may appreciate the film along with their adult caregivers. There are not any overt triggers related to violence, language, etc. but this film may not be suited for younger children due to the film’s pacing and focus on the experience and perspective of the adoptive parents. It also appears this movie would be best for families who perhaps have adopted internationally and can relate to some of the unique struggles that come with adopting a child from a different culture.

Families should note that there are themes that the Currys share that do cross over with other situations where caring for children with trauma are involved such as attachment struggles, children being uniquely resilient, cultural needs of adoptees, and the emotions that come with working with special needs.

** Spoilers Could Be Ahead **


How Is This Relevant To Adoption & Foster Care?

While Hayden & Her Family (2020) is a more specific adoption experience of a family adopting children from China and Vietnam with special physical, cognitive, and emotional needs any caregiver of children who have endured trauma can relate to the joy and heartache that the Curry family experiences. While adoption is absolutely a beautiful thing, bringing together found family, there cannot be adoption without significant loss to a child. For Hayden and her adoptive siblings Minh, Kiet, Ting Ting, and Yu Ting adoption meant losing access to cultural pieces caregivers may not remember. Language, food, holidays, community, and even favorite activities are all being processed and grieved by these children and the Currys do an excellent job in recognizing how each family member needs to uniquely grieve and receive love and care while transitioning from many parts into one whole family.


Discussion Points:

  • Every Child is Unique
    The Currys use different parenting techniques to raise Ting Ting and Hayden, because they have different needs. This can be an opportunity to discuss the difference between equality and equity and that every child has unique talents that should be celebrated needs that may need to be met differently. But none of that means that caregivers love any child more or less.
  • Transitions and Grief
    There are themes of grief and loss throughout the film related to adoption and parenting children and youth with special needs. Elizabeth’s father passes away during the filming of the documentary and she shares how this affected her adoption and parenting experience as well.
  • Cultural Identity
    Caregivers should be mindful of ways a child’s past can be accessed and celebrated as a very valuable part of their identity, whether it’s manifested in creating new family traditions or giving them the space to talk about the past and reminisce.

Cautionary Points:

  • Abandonment
    At the start of the film there is a dramatization to represent Hayden’s experience as a five-year-old being abandoned on a train. The showing of abandonment may be challenging for children or youth who have struggled with feeling abandoned.
  • Grief and Loss
    There are themes of grief and loss throughout the film related to adoption and parenting children and youth with special needs. Elizabeth’s father passes away during the filming of the documentary and she shares how this affected her adoption and parenting experience as well.
  • Surgical Procedures
    There are images shown of Hayden’s progression with treatment for Linear Nevus Sebaceous Syndrome. While there are no overly graphic images shown, children who are squeamish with discussing surgical procedures or have trauma related to surgery may react to the discussion of this nature.

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Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its reviews nor this discussion packet to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.


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