These are just a few questions that can be used to connect with your children after the movie. These questions are not meant to be used in a therapeutic manner, but will help your child talk about some of the experiences they have that they may not have thought about before. You may find out about new people, new experiences, and new feelings that you never heard about before. This is a great time to validate their experiences and provide positive praise for how they handled everything that they have been through.

  1. Have you ever experienced a “box of shame”?  What was it like?
    This question is great to assess what a child’s view of shame is. Often time as adults we forget that children do not have the same emotional vocabulary we do and it can be hard for them to put it into words. This can allow you to explain shame in a safe manner and identify what caused your child shame in the first place. It may be helpful for you to share a time that you personally felt shame so that your child knows that it is a normal emotion.


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Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.

Written by
Pattie lives in Tampa, FL, and she spends most of her time working with adoptive and foster families through case management, psychiatry services, and therapy services. Pattie received her bachelor's in psychology from Saint Leo University and her master's in Marriage and Family Therapy from Argosy University. Pattie has been certified as an adoption competent provider through Rutgers University. Pattie has also participated in the Infant Mental Health certification program through University of South Florida, and is currently working on her CPP (child parent psychotherapy) certification. Pattie is also a current Guardian Ad Litem for Hillsborough County that specializes in working with teen girls in human trafficking. When Pattie isn't working, you can find her at Universal and Disney with her husband and friends.

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