Discussion Guide:

These are just a few questions that can be used to connect with your children after the movie. These questions are not meant to be used in a therapeutic manner, but will help your child talk about some of their thoughts and feelings that have never been talked about before.

Talking about dating:

• • 1. As a parent, what are your expectations around your child dating?
    2. Why do people date?
    3. What type of person would your child like to date?
    4. Do you think Gru was too overprotective when Margo had a crush on a boy?

These questions can help facilitate uncomfortable questions about dating that our children may have. Often times, everything they know about dating comes from what they see on tv, hear in songs, or observe from their friends. This can be a positive thing or a negative thing depending on the message their influencers are sending. It’s important to be on the same page as early as possible in order to prevent any issues in the future. It also lets them know in a comfortable way what your expectations of a parent are in terms of them dating.

Gru changes as a dad:

• • 1. What do you think makes Gru a good dad?

This question helps us identify what our children consider to make a good parent versus a bad parent. Many of our children’s expectations are low, depending on what their experience was pre-foster care or adoption. A good parent to them could be cooking them food, telling them that they are loved, or buying them clothes. Others may talk about doing fun things with them, helping them when they are scared, or buying them a lot of things. Whatever your child’s answer is, it’s a good conversation to have to determine what their expectations are of a parent. Their view may be skewed, but it isn’t your job to convince them of what a good parent is; your job is to be the best parent you can possibly be for them.

Agnes’s feelings about not having a mom:

• • 1. Have you ever felt similar to Agnes?
    2. What holiday’s are hard for you to celebrate?
    3. How do you think Gru could have responded better to Agnes?

Holidays are hard for our children. If they are old enough to have memories of holidays with their biological parents, it can be even more difficult. They may feel especially guilty around the holidays with the remembering of these memories. It’s important to allow your child to talk about their feelings and memories. Is there a tradition they used to do that they do not anymore? Try to implement it if appropriate. This lets them know that their experiences are valid. It also allows them to talk about some of the holidays they struggle with in a safe space. Hearing how they would like for situations like this to be handled is an invaluable piece of information for us as parents to have.

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Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.