Posted on 1 Comment

Chapter 4 – Kid Discussion – My home is exciting… or maybe I’m confused

harry-potter-knoxville-adoption-foster-care
I think we can all agree that Harry’s life up until this point had been a sad life. However, with the fall of a door at the beginning of this chapter it appears that interesting things are about to happen for Harry. What do you notice about Harry though? Our family isn’t sure if Harry was as much happy when meeting Hagrid as he was very, very confused.

fink-foster-adoption-harry-potter

Everything happened so fast in this chapter that it would confuse me too. Here are just a few of the things to confuse Harry:

  • A giant man entered the shack where he was staying
  • The strange giant offers him a birthday cake
  • Harry had been lied to about his parents’ death
  • He gets called a wizard
  • He learns about his special new school
  • Hagrid uses an owl to deliver a message

There are so many other things that Harry is finding out for the first time. One of our children can relate with Harry’s feelings of confusion. This child was moved into our home from another foster home two months before their second birthday. The caseworker didn’t have time to introduce the child to our family. The child was literally dropped off with strangers before the caseworker had to leave.

fink-ice-cream-adoption-harry-potter

I remember seeing the child walking in the house excited to see the new rooms of our house and meet the cats. He was also very nervous. There was no one familiar to hold and comfort the child while meeting these new strangers in a strange home. It’s like the child was given a ticket or a letter to come to a new home with new fun and opportunities but everything was so new that it was scary.

who-are-real-parents-social-media  fink-hogwarts-adoption-foster-care

One of my kids told me, “I liked going to new (foster) homes. You get to meet new people and make new friends, but… it’s really sad too. You leave everything you know and all the people you know at the last place.”

I think that is how Harry was feeling. Excited for new possibilities but scared to leave everyone that he knew.

Now It’s Your Turn:

  1. What do you think was the most confusing thing to happen to Harry in this chapter?
  2. What do you think was exciting for him?
  3. If you were Harry, would you like to get a birthday cake or see Hagrid do magic?
  4. Your foster/adoptive parents can’t do magic like Hagrid. What can they do that you think is pretty amazing?
  5. What makes you feel like you belong in your family?

chapter4-harry-potter-foster-care-knoxville

Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Posted on Leave a comment

If Only I Weren’t Here… – Chapter 2 – Kid Discussion

chapter-2-kid-discussion-foster-adoption

This discussion assumes that you have recently read Chapter 2 of The Sorcerer’s Stone

Wondering How My Life Might Be Happier

“Sometimes, when he (Harry Potter) strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with strange visions…” – Harry was trying to think of the family that he used to have.

Harry was having a really good day and then found his day ending in his cupboard with himself in deep deep trouble. He lays in his cupboard thinking long not about the fun animals he saw at the zoo or either of the tasty treats he enjoyed on the early outing – no, he is thinking about the unfairness of the day.

It really wasn’t his fault that a snake got loose in the zoo. It wasn’t his fault that his cousin, Dudley, was frightened by the snake. It wasn’t his fault that he could unknowingly talk to snakes. Not fair. Not fair. Not fair.

In the dark cupboard, Harry started to think about how his life might be happier. He tries to remember anything about his mom and dad. He just knows that his life would be better if he were with them.

When I Get In Trouble I Think…

All of my kids were in various foster homes before being adopted into our family. Two of my children still tell me that sometimes, even at our house, “I think when I’m in trouble if I lived with my biological mom, none of this (bad situations) would happen to me.”‘

One child actually went one step further from remembering the good times at their biological home and made up pretend stories of how they wanted life to be that their biological mom was an important ambassador in Africa and had to fly to and from the United States all the time. Mom could not take care of them because she was always going to Africa.

“I knew bad things happened at my biological home, and I didn’t want to live with her (biological mom). I did really miss her.”

jasmine-fink-foster-adoption-harry-potter

One child blamed their biological brothers and sister for not having a happy life. Whenever this child went through a sad time, they would tell me that they would still be living happily with mom if their brothers and sister had not been born. This child was convinced that their siblings were too difficult to take care of at the biological home.

When you get in trouble or things seems really sad, it’s normal to think that living somewhere else would be better and easier. One child says though, “There would be different problems if I lived with my biological mom.”

Another child thinks that “kids have to hang in there. Things will get better and hopefully they (kids) will eventually get adopted (if they aren’t already).”

“Just remember that you might want to go back to your biological home, but there will still be problems there, too.”

cody-fink-foster-adoption-harry-potter

Your turn:

  • Was it fair for Harry to get in trouble with the issue with the snake?
  • How does Harry feel about his Aunt & Uncle? his mom and dad?
  • Is it good for him to think about his mom and dad? Why or why not?
  • Do you think about living somewhere else? Why? When?
  • What problems might you have if you lived at your biological home?
  • What problems would you have if you ran away from home?
  • What do you like about the home/family you live with now?

Transfiguring-Adoption-chapter2-kid-discussion-facebook

 

Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Posted on 2 Comments

The Scary Night – Chapter 1 – Kid Discussion

Hogwarts-Adoption-Foster-Child

Harry Knows Foster Kids 

Every foster kid knows the beginning of this story too well. Harry Potter has just lived through a horrible situation that no child should have to live. Sometimes in life bad things happen to good people. For Harry the bad news is that his parents are gone.

The scary part isn’t over for Harry. In chapter 1 he is being delivered to his Aunt and Uncle’s home. His aunt and uncle have never met him, and they stayed away from Harry’s mom and dad. Thus, Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia are practically strangers. Harry is about to be given to a family that knows nothing about him.

Two Adoptive Kids That Know How Harry Potter Feels

My two oldest sons can relate to Harry in Chapter 1. The boys had been in seven foster homes in seven years.

fink-foster-kid-adoption-dollywood

“I remember playing with a ball outside when a policeman came (to the house). He took the ball and put it aside. Then he picked all of us up and put us in his car.”

“It was a really confusing time… I wasn’t mad at people for taking us away but I was sad and scared all the time. I didn’t want to be taken away. I wanted to stay.”

With each new home it was the same story. The boys would arrive at a strange home and think, “we would stay there for the rest of our lives.” Unfortunately, through various circumstances, a “caseworker told us we had to pack up our stuff. We didn’t know why. We just knew we had to pack up our stuff. – Here we go again.”

“When you leave a home you don’t know who you’re going to. You have no idea if they’re good. They’re a stranger. You also have no idea if you are going to stay at their home or move on.”

  Fink-hogwarts-adoption-tennessee

The Good News

The good news for Harry Potter is that there were loving adults who still made sure that he was safe. Dumbledore oversaw the whole delivery process. For my sons, they also had adults overseeing them. As we talked about this chapter, their faces filled with huge smiles and good thoughts of the foster parents who cared for them. They also knew that their caseworkers were helping them. The loving people didn’t make the scary situation or feelings go away, but caring adults helped them deal with the situation.

Your Turn:

  • How was Harry’s situation scary?
  • Would you be scared to live with the Dursleys? Why or Why not?
  • How was Dumbledore watching over Harry a good thing? Did that help Harry?
  • Who are the adults that care for you – the adults you can depend on?
  • How were/are you scared to go to a new home?
  • Do you need to tell a safe and loving adult about the scary story of leaving your biological home?

finks-foster-family-knoxville-adoption

transfiguring-adoption-Chapter1-SS-Kid-Facebook

Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17