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Chapter 11 – I’m nervous. Here’s how to help me – Kids’ Discussion

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Harry Potter Gets Nervous with Game Day Jitters

Wow. We finally got to read about a Quidditch match. I know that the kids in our house either want to be seekers or chasers. I personally would love to try my hand at being a beater.

Our family noticed during this chapter that while Harry was very excited to be picked as a seeker for the Gryffindor team, he was very, VERY nervous about his first game. How do we know this? We saw it in his body language. For example he didn’t want to eat at all before he went to the Quidditch pitch.

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Foster-Adoptive Kids Have the Same Fears

My kids can relate to Harry. They know what it is like to be nervous. They have been nervous going to a new foster home or moving to their adoptive home. They have been nervous joining a new school because our family has had to move across the states. They know what it feels like to be nervous simply when you have to do something new that you have never done before. For example my oldest son was petrified to go into a store and inquire about getting a job application. There is something scary about not knowing how an event is going to turn out.

  • Harry had never played Quidditch before in front of a large crowd of people. What if he wasn’t any good? What if everyone booed him off the field? What if? What if? What if?
  • Harry couldn’t eat his breakfast because he was so nervous. Seamus didn’t help him with all of his talk about Seekers getting hurt during the game.

We all agreed that being extremely nervous about something is a part of life. What do you do to help people when they are nervous?

Hermione tried to get Harry to eat breakfast. Hermione and Ron made a banner to cheer Harry on. In fact the book says that Harry felt braver when he saw the banner.

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5 Ways to Encourage Nervous Kids

My kids had some ideas on how they can be encouraged when they’re nervous:

  1. Tell a person how great they are
  2. Give the nervous person a hug
  3. Talk to the person about their fear
  4. Let the nervous person know that you’re with them and they’re NOT ALONe
  5. Pray for them

Now It’s Your Turn:

  1. How would you help someone that is nervous?
  2. How should someone help you when you’re nervous?

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Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

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Chapter 10 – Kid Discussion – Blending an adoptive family

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“There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.” – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.

Ron and Harry just were not getting along with Hermione until they all had to confront the mountain troll together and then face the angry teachers. A birth family naturally has experiences that bond them together. When a baby is born, it is scared and helpless to be out in the open. In the ideal situation the biological mom and dad are there to comfort the baby and care for its needs. When a baby is learning to walk, mom and dad are there to comfort them when they fall down. When a child is sick, the biological parents check on the kiddo and make sure that they are nursed back to health. There are so many other natural events where a family (in an ideal situation) has a chance to help each other and take care of each other. This earns a deep amount of trust.

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If you’re in an adoptive and/or foster family, you possibly didn’t have these experiences with your family. You have to work at finding the trust. I asked my kids about this situation. I wanted to find out what events made them want to treat each other like brother and sister since they are not all biological siblings. They all looked at me with odd and surprised faces.

“We’ve always gotten along,” replied my daughter.

My wife and I chuckled and gently reminded her that she was in counseling with another one of the boys for a time because they disliked each other very much. There was actually probably a time when we weren’t sure if all the adoptions could happen if the two didn’t learn how to live with each other.

“There was actually probably a time when we weren’t sure if all the adoptions could happen if the two didn’t learn how to live with each other.”

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As we discussed things with each other more, I don’t think we could find one event that helped our family but lots of small events that added up to helping. These events were mostly in times of great trouble or when we were outside of our normal routine. For example:

  • We took a vacation for one week where all four kids were together for the first time. During the trip they had fun together, had to make sure that each other stayed together and safe inside the theme park we were at and they got into trouble together. This whole trip gave them stories together that they could talk about later. “Remember when we tried to get so-and-so on the roller coaster but he was too short.” “Remember the large hill we had to walk up in the middle of the park and we thought our legs would fall off.”
  • When stormy weather approached and a tornado warning was in effect, our family banded together while taking shelter. We waited the storm out for almost 30 minutes and within that time kids helped each other and comforted each other. Experiences and stories were created in that time. “Remember when we all squeezed inside so-and-so’s closet.” “Remember how scared so-and-so was and I held onto them.” “It’s funny to think that grandma had to get in there with us.” “Remember that so-and-so was so scared they accidentally farted.”
  • Every Friday our family stops everything they are doing and has a family movie night. This might be an old favorite like one of the Harry Potter movies or Wreck-It Ralph. We most often like to watch something new. The simple act of watching a movie together creates experiences and memories too. We actually are closer together as a family because of it. Recently we actually watched the movie Blended. It’s about a single dad and a single mom whose lives accidentally come together on a vacation. The parents and their kids do activities together at the resort. The experience our family brought away from this movie was a funny song sung by the master of ceremonies through the movie. Whenever he caught people bonding, he would sing, “They are bonding … they are blending.” Yes. Our kids sing that song anytime they see anyone in our family caring for each other now.

Now it’s Your Turn:

  1. Why was Hermione always so frustrated with Harry and Ron?
  2. Do you think Harry and Ron would have befriended Hermione if they hadn’t fought the troll?
  3. Why did fighting the troll make all three of them friends?
  4. What is an adventure or trip you have done with your foster/adoptive family?
  5. What are 3 things about the trip you can say, “Remember when…” about?
  6. What is the next adventure you would like to do? Movie night? A trip?

Help Others:

What do you think about this chapter? Your thoughts or questions will help someone else. Please put them in the comments section below.

Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

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Chapter 9 – Kid Discussion – Family members protect each other

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Are we the only ones that are upset with Malfoy? I mean it’s bad enough that Neville is having such a rough time at school without getting bullied by another Hogwarts student. We really wished that Neville could fly well also so that he was at least good at something.

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The Idea of Family

The big idea that we saw in this chapter was the idea of family. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Neville Longbottom are somewhat like a family at Hogwarts. Even at the beginning of the book, the students were told that their houses would be like a family to them while they were away from their real families. What makes them look like a family though?

  • They spend a lot of time together.
  • They teach each other new things (older students show the younger ones how to get around the castle).
  • They have fun together.
  • They try to help each other succeed. They try to earn their house points.
  • They PROTECT each other.

fink-knoxville-adoption-family-tips-discussion-helpThere were a lot of times that the Gryffindors protected each other in this chapter.

  1. Harry and Ron confronted Malfoy in the Great Hall when Malfoy was picking on Neville and trying to take his remembrall.
  2. Harry flew the broom to stand up for Neville and get his stolen remembrall back from Malfoy.
  3. Hermione tried to stop Harry from flying the broom. She was concerned that Harry would be expelled and concerned that Gryffindor (her family) would lose house points.
  4. Hermione tried to stop Ron and Harry from sneaking out of the Gryffindor common room at night. She again didn’t want the boys to get into trouble and didn’t want her house to lose points.
  5. While Filch chased them in the hallways, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville all stuck together and helped each other get back to the common room.

Protecting your family members can be a hard thing to do when you are a foster/adoptive child. For one reason sometimes past hurts make it hard to think about other people. My son would agree that after being taken from his biological home, he worried about what would happen to himself. He just doesn’t worry about his adoptive brother getting bullied by other kids because he is more concerned about getting picked on himself. Our whole family actually had a talk after reading this chapter about what to do when your brother/sister is getting picked on by other neighborhood kids. We talked about how it is okay to tell a friend that you do not want to play or hang out with them if they are going to pick on your brother/sister. Family members protect each other and stick together. Friends might move away.

“My daughter and one of my sons would also say that as a foster/adoptive kid, it’s not always easy to stick together with your family.”

My daughter and one of my sons would also say that as a foster/adoptive kid, it’s not always easy to stick together with your family. I can remember going to an amusement park and constantly having to tell my son to wait in line for rides with our family and not the people in front of us. When my son was only two years old, he would go to any man and call him “Daddy.” At church we had to make sure that he went home with us and not someone else.

“When everyone sticks together and protects each other, you will feel more loved and the world isn’t AS scary.”

It can be weird to stick together with your foster/adoptive family because you might not know them that well. A new foster/adoptive family are strangers when you first go to live with them. Like my kids always say to me – this is all normal, but you have to learn to trust the new family. It’s amazing to belong to a group, a family. When everyone sticks together and protects each other, you will feel more loved and the world isn’t AS scary. I like to remind my kids that we are proud of them. They could go to school and get picked on. They could go to a friend’s house and get made fun of, but we (their family) will always be proud of them and love them. It’s easier to face the world when you know that someone is proud of you no matter what.

Now It’s Your Turn:

  1. Would you have agreed to duel Malfoy? Why?
  2. Would you like to fly a broom?
  3. How does your family stick together?
  4. You’re hanging out with your friend in your neighborhood. Your friend begins to make fun of your brother/sister. What do you do?

Help Others:

How should foster/adoptive families stick together? Do you have any ideas or thoughts about this chapter that you want to share with other kids?

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Kids’ Discussions:
Ch. 01
| Ch. 02Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17

Parents’ Discussions:

Ch. 01 | Ch. 02 | Ch. 03 | Ch. 04 | Ch. 05 | Ch. 06 | Ch. 07 | Ch. 08 | Ch. 09 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12 | Ch. 13 | Ch. 14 | Ch. 15 | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17