Transfiguring Adoption’s Overview:
Stargirl is a new Disney Plus original release based on the bestselling YA novel by Jerry Spinelli. It tells the story of Leo and the new kid at school- Stargirl and how their friendship ignited a spark of magic and woke up a sleepy Midwestern town. Leo is quiet and studious and prefers blending into the background. Stargirl is loud, in-your-face and unapologetically herself. Through their relationship, Stargirl shows Leo that it’s okay to be yourself, even if sometimes this means people don’t like you.
This movie would be most suitable for tweens and teens as it centers around a group of high school friends. The movie does depict a romantic relationship between the two main characters, but it is very PG rated and at most we see the characters hold hands or share a chaste kiss. The movie is a nice departure from the loud and busy action movies that seem prevalent today and is reminiscent of 80s school classics such as The Breakfast Club (and even has an 80s soundtrack to go along with it!).
** Spoilers Could Be Ahead **
How Is This Relevant To Adoption & Foster Care?
Stargirl does not directly address foster care or adoption. However, the main character is struggling with coming to terms with the loss of his father and how that has shaped his life. The movie also addresses several themes that are likely relatable to youth in care. Both of the two main characters experience being the new kid at school and the plot focuses on the different ways this affects each of them. Children who are in care have often had to start at a new school at least once, sometimes much more frequently than that.
The movie also revolves around the them of identity and figuring out who you are and finding your place in the world. While this is a central issue that all teens struggle with, it is even more relevant to youth who have been through foster care or adoption. They may have a harder time than the average teen fitting in and making friends due to both moving around frequently and sometimes stigma about their background. Because they are not living with their biological parents, they often have questions about who they are and where they come from and how that fits in with their personality.
Discussion Points:
- Loss of a Parent
We learn that Leo’s father died when he was very young and this loss has had a huge impact on his life- everything from him having to move to a new town where he doesn’t know anyone to the way he interacts with peers at school. Children who have experienced foster care or adoption can related to this as their lives have also been defined by the loss of parents, whether due to removal or death. This can be an opportunity to discuss the ways in which Leo deals with the loss of his father throughout the movie. We see Leo clinging to reminders of his father such as his Hedgehog tie and his favorite record but we also see him talking to his mom and Stargirl about his feelings around this loss which can set and example for showing that it can be healthy to discuss loss and grief with those we who care about us. - Starting a New School
Both Leo and Stargirl start at a new school during the movie and have drastically different experiences and ways of dealing with this. When Leo’s dad dies, he and his mom move to a new small town and he has to start a new school. He’s always worn his dad’s favorite hedgehog tie and the bullies at the new school destroy it. In response he decides to ‘disappear’ saying “If I wanted to survive it was better to lay low…be just like everybody else”. He decides that if he blends in more and stands out less then the other kids will have less reason to tease him. Years later, we see Stargirl starting high school for the first time, as she has been homeschooled until now. She is unapologetically unique, everything from the way she dresses, to her name, to the things she does (like serenade everyone in the cafeteria) stands out. However, we don’t see her get bullied, we see the other students eager to get to know her and everyone wants to be her friend because she’s the ‘shiny new toy’. This can be an opportunity to compare and contrast their different experiences and strategies and talk about your child’s own experiences starting new schools. Were they welcomed or bullied? How did they react to that reception? - Survival Behaviors/Adaptability
When Leo is bullied at school he decides to try to blend in more, to essentially be invisible so that no one notices him- for good or bad. At the time, this is an adaptive strategy- it allows him to get through many years of school and avoid further bullying. However, once Stargirl shows up she shows that it’s important to embrace the things that make us different or unique and this is the overarching message of the movie. However, that doesn’t mean that Leo was wrong with his strategy. At the time, it was what felt like what he needed to do to survive but it got to a point where it was no longer working and so he had to adapt. This is a great tie-in to a discussion about your child’s own survival behaviors. When we experience trauma, we often have to engage in survival behaviors like Leo in order to get through that traumatic experience. However, once that trauma is over these behaviors may no longer be healthy or useful in a new environment and the youth needs to learn to adapt to their new situation. That doesn’t mean that they did anything wrong at the time- whether it was fighting back, shutting down, or something else. A good analogy is a rabbit living in the forest. Most of its predators rely on movement in order to see their prey. So, the rabbit’s primary survival strategy to freeze and hold really still so the fox, hawk, etc. can’t see them. This is the best way for them to protect themselves. However, now take that rabbit and put it in a city on a highway. The rabbit sees a big scary monster (car) coming towards it. It uses the strategy it knows to survive- it freezes so the monster won’t see it. However, it’s in a new environment and here, standing still means that the car will hit it. If the rabbit wants to survive in its new environment it will need to learn a new strategy, such as running away, instead. This analogy may help children recognize their own survival behaviors and the need for adapting to their new environment (their foster/adoptive home). - Self-Identity/Individuality
A central theme of this movie is centered around being yourself and embracing your differences and figuring out who you are. Stargirl doesn’t try to blend in and be like everyone else the way Leo does- she is unapologetically herself. Everything from the way she dresses, to her name, to the choices she makes. And for the most part, we see her peers accept this and like her even more for being different. There does come a point where Stargirl makes a mistake and school turns on her. In an effort to try and make her fit in, Leo suggests she acts more ‘normal’ and in response Stargirl shows up to school as Susan, wearing more ‘normal’ clothes and even changes the topic of her speech to something mainstream. However, she realizes at the speech competition that this isn’t her and she can’t pretend to be someone she’s not. So, she goes back to being Stargirl and even gets Leo to embrace some of his own individuality such as wearing his ‘weird’ ties again and singing on stage at the Winter Dance. Watching this movie can be a great way to breach the topic with kids and teens about the things that make them unique and the importance of embracing those qualities rather than trying to hide them.
Cautionary Points:
- Loss of a Parent
When the movie opens, we find out that Leo’s father died when he was very young. The actual death is not shown on screen; however, we see a young Leo and his mom preparing for the funeral and dealing with the effects of this loss and it is a central theme of the movie. This may be difficult for children who have experienced a similar loss. Stargirl is also raised by a single mother. The movie does not address what happened to her father, but he is absent, and she explains that she never knew him. Children who have been through foster care and adoption have all experienced the loss or absence of a parent in some way so depending on where they are at on the path of processing their trauma these themes may be too much for them. - Bullying
Towards the beginning of the movie we see a very young Leo being bullied by other kids at school. We see them teasing him about his ‘weird’ outfit, and then we see Leo on the ground after they presumably pushed him, though we don’t see the actual physical violence portrayed on screen. Later in the film, after Stargirl helps a member of the opposing football team, she is collectively shunned by the rest of the school who blame her for the team’s loss. Foster and Adoptive kids are more likely to be bullied by peers due to being different and the behavioral issues that can come along with trauma. Because of this, some children may be more sensitive to seeing these various forms of bullying portrayed on screen. - Medical Emergency
During a football game, one of the players gets injured and falls down and doesn’t get back up. He is taken away in an ambulance. While this is a very short scene and it turns out that he is fine, it may be upsetting to children who have experienced a medical emergency and ridden in an ambulance or watched a parent or loved one get hurt or sick and be taken away by ambulance. There is also a mention of another character’s little brother who got into a bike accident and was permanently disabled. This isn’t depicted on screen so may be less of a trigger but could still be upsetting for a child to hear about it if they have had a loved one experience such an accident or they themselves have. - Leaving without Saying Goodbye
At the end of the movie, Stargirl just disappears. She stops coming to school and when Leo goes to her house there is no evidence that anyone lives there, and it’s understood that she and her mom moved away. However, Stargirl did not tell anyone, even her boyfriend Leo, goodbye. Her departure is so sudden that it even causes the other characters to question whether she ever even existed at all. Children in foster care tend to move around a lot due and sometimes this comes with no warning as they are removed from their biological home or even because of a foster placement disruption. They often don’t get to say goodbye to their friends or family, so it may be upsetting to them to see this happen with Stargirl.
About the Author: Jenn Ehlers
Jenn is a central Virginia native who received her BA in Psychology from the University of Virginia in 2012. Since then she has worked for a local mental health agency and the Department of Social Services in various capacities and has been involved in her community’s efforts to create a Trauma Informed Network. Currently Jenn works in vocational rehab and mentors youth in foster care. When she isn’t working, Jenn enjoys writing stories, anything and everything Harry Potter, and spending time with her niece and nephew.
**Transfiguring Adoption is a nonprofit organization seeking to nurture growth in foster and adoptive families by giving a HOOT about their families. Transfiguring Adoption does not intend for its reviewers nor its review to be professional, medical or legal advice. These reviews and discussion guides are intended to help parents to better be able to connect and understand their children who come from traumatic backgrounds.
