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Adoptive Family’s Website Attacks Trauma in Foster and Adopted Children
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. – January, 2016 — Foster parents all around the world deal with one of many difficult issues. The foster children in their care do not trust them and consequently do not want to tell their caretakers about their fears. The result is children attempting to take on the world with their baggage holding them back. The result is children who cannot heal because they cannot trust anyone to look at the wounds.
Transfiguring Adoption is a website that was started by a foster-adoptive family. The goal of Transfiguring Adoption is to develop media resources that nurture and grow foster and adoptive families. We hope to spark healthy conversation in foster/adoptive families and let this healthy dialogue open the doors for healing in children and families. How does their website hope to accomplish this? First let’s meet the family that began this project.
The Fink family is headed up by dad, Darren Fink, and mom, Margie Fink. The Finks both had a passion to foster children and help kids from hard places. In 2008 they took on their first foster placement and by 2012 they had adopted four children. The children are biological brothers, Cody and Matthew as well as biological brother and sister, Jasmine and Dalton. The Fink family are avid fans of the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling. They read the books together as a family and discovered that their four adopted kids could very much relate to the orphaned character, Harry Potter. The Finks began reading a chapter in the evening right after dinner and then discussing the chapter as it related to the kids’ foster and adoption issues.
“I was taken aback one of the first few times that we were discussing a chapter from Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone. I looked over at one of my sons, and he was fighting back tears as he talked about his feelings through his whole foster care experience. A crying boy might not seem huge to you. To a dad who has made countless failed attempts to get his kid to talk about his grief and loss, or any of his feelings about anything for that matter, this was HUGE for me,” says father Darren Fink.
After this experience, a blog was created online in hopes that their experiences would help other families. The Fink children assist in creating a kids’ discussion blog weekly for other foster/adoptive families.
Darren explains, “The kids literally sit around the dinner table as if it were a board room table and discuss how to help other foster children through issues that they believe are dealt with in the chapter.”
Darren and Margie Fink have even created a parents’ discussion blog so that parents can find encouragement and a place to share experiences.
“Foster parents are required to take on challenges that the average parent is not asked to handle in life. You have to be part parent, part counselor, part dietician, part biologist, etc. to handle the different issues that trauma has created in foster and adopted children. The general populous doesn’t always understand the situations we’re put through. Transfiguring Adoption is a place for parents to come and feel normal and be encouraged,” states mom and Co-Founder, Margie Fink.
The website that was originally intended to be a fun family project has acquired increased attention. Transfiguring Adoption has recently taken on a few volunteer staff to help them grow out the website and better help foster/adoptive families. Betsy Crockett is an adoptee with a family of her own now. Mrs. Crockett writes to foster and adoptive parents to help them understand how children are feeling and give insight to certain behaviors. Susan Dalton is a teacher who is passionate about bridging the gap between foster and adoptive parents and the educational community.
Not a Harry Potter fan? Transfiguring Adoption has a growing resource section for families that includes such sections as books, movies, songs and conferences to help you parent your foster and adopted child.
The Transfiguring Adoption crew have created a great social following and enjoy discussion with the general public through various outlets besides the website. You can join up with this up coming group by visiting them online at: www.transfiguringadoption.com. They also have their own app for Android and iTunes. As we said, the group is actively on social media on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram with the handle @TransfigurAdopt. They can be found on Google+ at: www.plus.google.com/Transfiguringadoptionfamily.