The Best Option…

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These last couple of weeks, I have taken you with me into some of the darkness I face as a result of being adopted. These are difficult problems to face, but I am glad I am here to face them. Here is where I tell you that I am 100% without a doubt, and unapologetically Pro-Life and Pro adoption. I am not going to go into a debate on women’s rights here, but I will tell you where I am coming from.

“I may be upset with my natural mother for not wanting contact with me, but I am thankful that she chose to go through with the pregnancy, and that she chose the heart wrenching choice to give me up for adoption.”

In 1973, Roe v. Wade was passed making abortion a legal option for pregnant women in the United States. I was born after this decision, and I am pretty sure I was an unplanned pregnancy. I may be upset with my natural mother for not wanting contact with me, but I am thankful that she chose to go through with the pregnancy, and that she chose the heart wrenching choice to give me up for adoption.

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When my daughter was born, she had a hole in her heart and had to stay in the level 2 nursery at the hospital a little longer than a healthy baby would. I was sent home by my doctor to get a little rest after I was released from the hospital. As my husband wheeled me out to the car with a cart full of balloons that said “It’s a Girl” and other goodies that come with having a baby, it did not feel right to leave without the child I worked so hard to bring into this world. I imagined how SHE must have felt leaving the hospital without me. It was gut wrenching! I can not imagine the heartbreak she felt knowing she wouldn’t get to see me grow and wouldn’t get to know the love of a daughter. It was hard enough for me just knowing I would be back in a couple of hours after a nap and a shower at home!

“…it did not feel right to leave without the child I worked so hard to bring into this world.”

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So, for that reason alone, I am humbled by any woman who makes the decision to give her unborn child life, and then hand him/her off to total strangers- especially in those days when adoptions were closed. If I may speak for every adopted person out there to every natural parent who has made the decision to give his/her child up for adoption, I say, “THANK YOU”.

Things may be tough, they are for everybody, that’s just life! And I wouldn’t trade a moment of mine for anything in the world! If My natural mother would have terminated me, I wouldn’t know my love of music, art, writing, and classic cinema! I wouldn’t know the beauty of a sunset, or a spring day! I never would have smelled lilacs, and roses, and the smelly soy bean processing plant that overpowers my hometown with a very unique odor. I never would have enjoyed the loyalty of my favorite dog, the excitement of doing well on a test I studied hard for, or the frustration of trying to clean up a glitter spill (just kidding! I LOVE GLITTER, it can spill everywhere and I’m ok with that). But most importantly, I never would have enjoyed having a friend, and being a friend, or a wife, or a mother! I could go on and on about the things I love about my life, and you would get soooooo bored reading this. Just think of the things you love most, and appreciate that you are here to enjoy them!

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My natural mother could have taken an easier way out and terminated me. She had that choice legally, but I am so thankful she chose the right alternative. I am so glad that I am here to tell you all about my experiences! I just pray that if there is someone out there who is experiencing an unwanted pregnancy and considering an abortion, she will read this, and think twice. I know leaving your child is a difficult thing to do, but please, I implore you, choose life, choose adoption, it’s the best option.

“I know leaving your child is a difficult thing to do, but please, I implore you, choose life, choose adoption, it’s the best option.”

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And if you yourself are experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, I encourage you to email me at betsy@transfiguringadoption.com. I will help you any way I can because I want your child to know life. Take care, and GOD bless!

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3 thoughts on “The Best Option…

  1. I understand the message of your post is to encourage women with unplanned pregnancies not to have an abortion; however, saying “My natural mother could have taken an easier way out and terminated me” is very judgmental. It also assumes having an abortion is taking the “easier way out,” which can only be made by someone who has had both an abortion and placed a child for adoption.

    I am unapologetically pro-choice, which is not the same as pro-abortion.

    I wish you the best of luck finding your biological father.

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this post. The intention was not to begin any sort of argument, but was to encourage adoption over abortion. I am very thankful for my life. I realize that the decision to have an abortion is not an easy one for many women. Many carry unbelievable guilt. I have met an incredible woman who counsels post abortive women at a crisis pregnancy center in my town. She had an abortion herself, and was not prepared for the aftermath. Or society does tend to offer abortion as an “easy way out” to many women, and I am saddened by women who shout that having an abortion was the best thing they ever did at pro-choice rallies. This is not the reality in most cases, and while I believe adoption is a better choice for women in a crisis pregnancy, I understand this isn’t always the choice made. While everyone deserves wonderful healthcare in spite of what they are choosing to do, I am certain that there needs to be affordable/free counseling for all women who find themselves in an unwanted pregnancy situation, and this is where we fail. But as I said, a debate between pro-life and pro choice was not the intention. It was my intention to encourage others, and maybe even help women who have given up a child in the past to know they made a good choice, and that in the end, we are all blessed to be alive and enjoy the beautiful things this world has to offer. Thank you for your well wishes in my search for my father. I appreciate it.

      • If I came across as argumentative that wasn’t my intention. I agree with much of what you said; namely, there needs to be free counseling for unplanned pregnancies as well as people who undergo an abortion. Regarding your birthfather, I am more than happy to post information on my FB page; feel free to get my email from Darren or Margie if you want to send a picture, further information, etc.

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