Instead of my regularly scheduled blogging, I am going to talk a bit about some decisions I have made lately. I recently joined some face book groups for adoptees, including one that has many people they call “search angels” who can help you locate your birth family. It is called Search Squad if you want to check it out.
“I have decided to use this service to look for my biological father and any siblings on his side.”
I shared my story with the people in this group, and got some interesting information. As it turns out, in the state of Illinois, and if you already have a copy of your original birth certificate, you can petition the courts for a Confidential Intermediary. It is the Confidential Intermediary’s job to then go to court and file for your adoption records and search for the biological family member(s) of your choice. They then attempt to contact said family member(s), and facilitate communication between said member(s) and the adoptee who is searching. Because my biological mother will not speak to me, I have decided to use this service to look for my biological father and any siblings on his side.
“Sure, there might be some tears, but I don’t think it will cause me to make a gigantic shift in my personality and thought process.”
I know, I know, I have spent some time talking about the rejection from my biological mother and the heartbreak it caused. But this time, I am prepared for some reason, and I am not sure why, but I don’t feel that the hole inside of me has a lot to do with my bio dad. For some reason, I pinned all of that emotion onto my natural mother. This time, instead of feeling that this is a necessity because I am looking for fulfillment, I am doing this out of sheer curiosity. Sure, some answers would be nice, like medical information and the story of how I came to be, but mostly, I just want to see who he is, and what he is like. I want to know if I have any more brothers or sisters (oh please, oh please, I always wanted a sister!!!). I want to meet him and be his friend. But, if he doesn’t want contact, it will disappoint me, but I don’t think it will devastate me like my biological mother did. Sure, there might be some tears, but I don’t think it will cause me to make a gigantic shift in my personality and thought process. I don’t know.
So, here is what I am going to ask of you, my friends, can you please pray for me and my decision and a favorable outcome? I will keep you all updated as to the outcome as I go along. Thank you, and be blessed!